Casa Pax + Kid Pax

2011-08-13T20:05:00.000-07:00

Is this thing on?

I've not written or posted here in ages, obviously. Work and life are keeping me more than busy enough, and then there's school. I reread some earlier posts, and noted that when last I wrote, I was still contemplating whether to consider taking a class. Now I'm enrolled and pursuing a degree. (Yes. Another one.)

Not that I'm swimming in free time, but I'm experimenting this weekend with a few possible alternatives, including WordPress as well as Blogger here, to start capturing more of the writing I'm doing offline. There's a few things I'd like to write with a shred more anonymity, but then I ask myself why I'd bother - it's not like there's a lot that is hidden from the world, from my school, from my employer.

Not a decision for tonight - for now, suffice it to say that my writing plans are as well-constructed as I-880 between San Jose and Oakland, or the view of Calle Genova in el DF, depicted here. It exists, but in great disrepair.

The Flight Not Taken

2010-03-22T22:07:00.000-07:00

OK, in truth - it was a flight not ticketed, either. Just one spotted yesterday while I was wandering around SNA (I can't call it "John Wayne"), waiting for my flight back to SJC. Pre-9/11, could I have approached the counter, passport and credit card in hand, and headed down to my beloved Distrito Federal? I don't remember ... and in any case, those days are now gone forevermore.

Many other days are "gone forevermore", namely the ones between last August when I last posted, and today. I made a commitment to a few people over the weekend to write more, and write more about the intersection of faith and politics and high tech and (maybe) grad school where I find myself, and how I'm discerning a direction there. "Discerning" sounds so mature, so premeditated, so spiritual - and on some days, it can be. On other days, it leaves me standing wistfully in front of an empty gate at a random airport, wishing I could just fly away to Mexico City, eat a taco or two, and breathe.

Perhaps I'll start that writing tomorrow.

Tonight. Tonight I sit in my home office in San Jose. It's my favorite room in the condo, perhaps because it's the smallest of the three bedrooms. In it are bookshelves, my bike, my desk, and the twin futon that is meant to be a guest bed, but it's just tossed on the floor right now. It's still the most comfortable place to sleep, though.

A cat is meowing in the other room. I was gone for a few days at the Archdiocese of LA Religious Education Congress, and the Kid stayed with our friends down the hall. The cats were visited daily, but otherwise left to their own devices, which seems to suit them quite well.

We've adjusted to San Jose, mostly. It's not Portland. It's certainly not Mexico City. The kid's school here isn't his school there - good, but different. I miss the community up there terribly. I miss the weather not at all.

So - we're here. "For the duration" would be a stretch. We're here for now, and part of what is included in "now" is my own process of discernment about whether to apply to begin a MA/PhD program in theology up in Berkeley - or whether to close that door and explore what happens next with my corporate employer. And if grad school is in the future, how and when do I do that, being responsible to the kidlet, our family, my colleagues...

Many questions, and much to think about. Running away on a flight to Mexico City was pretty compelling yesterday. (Among other things, it'd have spared me much of the health care reform politics. Of course I have opinions, but they're not soundbytes. Maybe I'll post 'em tomorrow.)

For those of you so inclined, please pray for us - for me as I discern where to go from here, and for the kidlet - or preteenlet - as he navigates the treacherous waters of middle school, and the uncertainty of those next steps himself.

More soon. Pax out.

Settling on being unsettled

2009-08-22T07:50:00.001-07:00

School has started for the kidlet, and after four days' vacation, I'm back to the office on Monday. There's still boxes remaining to be unpacked, and furniture I need to acquire - you wouldn't know by seeing the place that I've been here nearly two months. I'm mindful that the lease is only for 12.5 months - by 07/2010, I have to have some idea of What Happens Next.

Meanwhile, back on the ranch... my dad is moving into my house in Portland. The interior's been repainted, he's transferred the utilities into his name, and by mid-September, he'll be in place. He's indicated that he plans to remain there for the rest of his life, and as he's off today to hike around Mt. St. Helens, that could be a pretty long tenure. (Note to Dad: the mortgage payoff date is in about 26 years.)

POR ("plan of record", for those not conversant with the Corporate Masters' lingo) is to return to Portland next July. For those who know the Corporate Masters(TM), you also know that "POR" is often a moving target at best. Three doohickeys, two widgets, and a half-sized thingamabob in April, targeted for release in November, can turn into five bits of stuff, a double-sized thingamabob, and all doohickeys delayed 'til the next release - which will be in June, following the October release of the first version. "POR" can be most ephemeral at times.

All of which is a long way of saying "I have no clue where we'll be in a year." Honestly - there's about a 25% chance it'll be Portland, 25% chance it'll be San Jose, 25% chance it'll be Mexico - maybe Guadalajara, maybe Mexico City - and then another 25% chance it'll be an undisclosed location, NOT with Dick Cheney, but for various reasons can't be discussed at this time. The kidlet's aware of the liminality of it all, and so far, appears to be doing well. As I commented to another mom of a strikingly similar son this morning, he spends a lot of time in his own world. He's got his cats, he's finally learning to use his cellphone to call family - friends to follow - and he's fascinated by the world around him. Keeping an eye on him closely through the transition, but so far, so good.

It's harder for me right now, not having something as simple as a chair in the living room. If I can get in touch with The Teacher(TM) (also known as "friend with pickup"), I may remedy that, and pick up a desk for the kid along the way. We've also joined the Y, and getting into a routine there would be a Good Thing as well. This may be but a waystation on a bigger journey - but isn't that life itself, after all? Might as well take a look around and get to know the place while we're here, however long that may be.

Next weekend I'll go on my first trip after moving here, heading to a conference on the other side of the US. Kiddo will stay here, and I'm busily making sure that primary caregivers and backup are settling into place. More travel will follow, including a trip or two to Mexico this fall - again, a bit of normalcy returning after the big jump south. It's a start.

And So It Is

2009-08-04T21:36:00.000-07:00

I find myself in San Jose - or rather, Not In Mexico. Trying to parse out everything right now, and keep tripping into Concrete Blonde territory:

The little conversations
If I tried my very best
You know I never could say anything
In twenty words or less.

Or now, in the age of twitter, 140 characters or less. Same diff. So I'm writing it out here, not on Facebook.

I spent a little time going back to last year's blog posts, back when I was on sabbatical in Mexico, first with The Student (and a visit from The Teacher), and then with The Kid. The Plan^(TM) was to figure out what it'd be like to be in Mexico City for a year, and then to take the kid there this academic year.

And yeah - in the intervening year, the plan changed. Work granted me permission to telecommute - my job can be done anywhere I can get a dialtone and WiFi - but given the uncertain state of the economy and the realization that among my friends and family, I might even have a bit of an obligation to stay employed - oh, and having an underwater mortgage, too - it just seemed to be more practical, more pragmatic to stay in the US.

I turned 40 while in Mexico last summer. My mom died in October, followed shortly thereafter by one of her brothers. My dad's retired and needed to plot his next steps. Going to Mexico for a year didn't seem prudent, but staying in Portland didn't feel right, either. I needed time and space to discern where I'm to be, what I'm to do with this crazy life. And (deep sigh) the kid was starting to struggle at school, some from boredom, some from frustration at being the geeky one, the nerdy one, the one who was just looking at the world from an utterly different perspective. Something needed to change there, even if it was just getting him out of the environment for a year to breathe and allow tensions to die down and perspectives to mellow and mature. Even had we stayed in Portland, some change would've been needed, at least for awhile.

There's a thousand different opinions among friends and family about us spending a year (the current Plan^TM, at least) in California. They range from excited and enthusiastic to ... well, sorta hostile. There's probably merit lurking in each and every one of them, but the opinions are also owned by those who hold 'em, y'know? For my part, I'm giving myself 'til September 10 to unpack, get settled, get the kid settled in school, get back from a work conference in Georgia... and then I'm going to head back to the retreat center where I spent eight days in silence several years ago, sorting out what it meant to be going back into the Catholic Church. It'll just be a day trip for now, but I'm hoping to set up a regular practice of time there over this year. This upcoming year is to be one of discernment - under spiritual direction, with very focused time for prayer, writing, and just being and enjoying life.

There's so very little that I know right now, and so very much up in the air. I'm comfortable with where The Kid will be in school, and for his part, he's having a blast on this excellent adventure. We're talking about a goal of going to one cultural event per week, starting with the Chivas Guadalajara vs. Barcelona futbol (soccer) match this weekend up in SF. If The Student finds he has to go to Chile for a bit to check out some archives there, The Kid is sooooo down with making that trip - so I'm saving points and miles and such in hopes of pulling it off. Today he asked if we might be able to go to Mexico for a year sometime later. I couldn't answer - not without breaking down.

Current POR ("plan of record") is to return to Portland in 361 days - that's when the lease in our condo here expires. Truth be told, I have no idea what happens next. I'd give Portland about 33.3% of a shot, San Jose another 33.3% - and for the remaining third - Mexico? Oakland? Something Completely Different?

I do know that I enjoyed a happy little time of denial while The Student was preparing to leave for his research year. Seeing the photos he's posted from Mexico and talking with him - so bittersweet, because my longing to be in Mexico City right now is visceral. I had the opportunity in my hand, and ... fear? uncertainty? being too comfortable, too afraid of losing my job? - held me back. So now the task at hand is to be present here in San Jose and see what I'm to learn from this time here. It will be good - but first I have to be able to let go of What Is Not. Only then can I really experience What Is To Be.

Concrete Blonde's been on the mental ipod, but even more so, the Goo Goo Dolls "Two Days in February" - an achingly poignant song about missed love - except I'm singing it not to one individual, but to the biggest city in the world.

You said that this is crazy, you're a half a world away
Well I'm sitting and I'm thinking but I didn't know what to say
So I said something I can't touch, I always want way too much
Anyway

'Cause everything's wrong
Well it's all right
Everything's wrong
Well it's all right

And it is all right. I'm happy, loving the sun, excited about all of the new stuff we're learning and doing each day. It just wasn't what I'd planned. But it's all right.

We interrupt our previously-scheduled chaos...

2009-06-29T14:23:00.000-07:00

... to bring you a deer. Really, a doe - a deer - a female deer grazing in the yard of the kid's paternal grandparents' house outside of Atlanta. Flew down here from PDX on the redeye last night, and didn't sleep at all between the kid dozing fitfully on one side of me and a poor soul who was at least 6'5" crammed into the seat on the other side. We landed, were picked up by the kid's grandparents, and then went to a local BBQ joint for grits and eggs and sausage - totally surreal. I thought about taking a photo, at the very least of the life-sized cutout of GWB stashed in a corner - but thought better of it.

And then we came home, and saw the deer as we pulled in to the driveway.

I managed a brief nap before getting up to call in to my meeting at 8am, Portland time. I've been working from here, calling in to meetings and keeping up with email. I've a few colleagues who are out this week on vacation, so I'm their coverage as well. Email's coming in, and I'm doing my best to keep calls and such limited to times that coincide with the schedule here, three hours ahead. I'm dealing with corporate lifecycle discussions; my "not-in-laws" are making cornmeal-encrusted okra and grilling shrimp.

Such a different pace of life, and one that's increasingly attractive. We drove by housing developments with prices starting "in the low 100s". Substitute the "1" for a "3" and you'd have Oregon. And maybe for a "high 400s" - and it'd be San Jose.

I keep thinking that someday I'll have time to sit down and figure out what I want to do with this one beautiful, blessed life I have - and I realize that the life's happening now, while I'm zooming from airport to cube farm. Pretty sobering thought, all in all. Especially when my thinker's pretty jet-lagged as it is. Maybe tomorrow I'll go out and talk with that doe for awhile. I think she's onto something.

Another blogger in the sphere...

2009-06-28T18:49:00.000-07:00

Wasn't quite his idea of how to spend his summer vacation, but the Kid is now a blogger. I'm not going to post the details publicly; it's invitation-only, and I'll be watching it like a hawk. However - if you know me and know the kiddo, drop me a note if you want to get an invite to follow his adventures this summer and over the next year while we're in San Jose. It's moderated and tightly managed, but it's a good way for him to keep in touch with folks while we're away.

If any of y'all are thinking about letting your kids start to blog and want tips on how to be an uptight, retentive parent (what to lock down, how to moderate comments, etc.) - drop me a note. I'm all about responsible and careful use of technology, and just like other areas of life, this is one that the kids will learn about eventually, and really - you do prefer that they learn from you, rather than elsewhere.

What did I say about "too real"?

2009-06-26T17:41:00.001-07:00

Timestamp on this is Friday, but really written on Sunday morning, June 28. I'm sure there's a way to update the timestamp, but today won't be the day that I figure that out.

I can give this up - the back yard with the grass and dandelions that are a constant menace. In the middle of this green space we've put in a planting bed with tomatoes, zucchini, and basil all humming along.

But damn, saying goodbye to people sucks. It's so hard, something I've never liked. Friday was the amazingly wonderful woman, she & her husband truly gifts from God, who tend the kiddo after school and during summer. If I have any regrets about the past 11 years, it's that I didn't know them 11 years ago - he'd have been with them from the outset, as were a few of his friends. Instead, it's been barely a year and a half, but it's been wonderful. He'll be back for one week later this summer after his visit to the East Coast and before we head down to San Jose, and thankfully it's a week when she's here and will have her place open for kids.

Today - the young priest who was a seminarian when the kid started at the school. Given the choice of attending his ordination in Indiana or going to Disneyland when I would be attending the annual religious ed conference, the kid picked the ordination. At nine, the kid was way more interested in church and such than he is at eleven, but it was still an experience he'll remember forever. He was an altar server today too, at the last regular Mass that this priest will preside over at the parish. Definitely hard to say goodbye there, too - we don't agree on everything, but the faith and values that unite us are sufficient to let us exist with the differences, and with love and respect for one another.

I've never liked goodbyes much, and these weeks are full of 'em.

I'm repeating the mantra - it's just for a year, it's just for a year. If we were going to Mexico, it'd be a lot easier to cling to that "just for a year" statement - we'd have to return home, for immigration reasons at the very least. This time, we'll come back, and as inevitably happens, life will have moved along its course in our absence. I'm grateful for tools such as the Internet, Facebook, etc., resources that let us keep in touch with one another, but more grateful still simply for the gifts of these people - the couple who care for kids, Father Stephen - whose lives we've been privileged enough to share. God willing, we'll stay in touch as we all move through this next year.

All a little too real...

2009-06-06T08:23:00.001-07:00

I spent the latter part of last week in San Jose - or rather, San Jose, then Folsom Friday with a quick hop of a flight over Mt Hamilton (?) and then a day's instruction to a group of senior developers at the company's site there. Flew back on the return hop, caught up on a few things at the office, and then headed back to my friends' condo for dinner.

After dinner we went on a little walk - down a few flights of stairs, around the pool, up several more flights of stairs, and down to the very end of the hall. We stopped at the last door on the right, a door I'll be seeing a lot more of in just a few weeks.

Home.

Or at least what will pass for "home" for the next year. I've been thinking a lot recently about that concept - "home" - and what it's meant to me, and how my unsettled relationship with that concept informs this upcoming move.

I don't know how many times I've moved. I know the longest I've lived anywhere in my life was the house in NW PDX where we were prior to moving to this one. We lived there from June 2000 - March 2006, even though it was under serious construction much of the time and wasn't really fit for human habitation. It'll be beautiful when it's done, but it was never fully "liveable" - and as such, was never 'home' - just a place to try to sleep, and to try to keep this crazy-@ss juggling match going. Much easier where we are now

The first house I've owned - this one - just over three years. And now we're packing up to go to California. There's no way we'll stay in the place there longer than a year; even if things change and we're not back up here next summer, I can't see living there indefinitely. In fact, I can't even wrap my brain around the idea that in just over a week, we'll be set there for a year. Unreal.

The past several days have been spent with much packing and some scheming, interspersed with the usual doses of work and such. Still haven't figured out if we'll do the professional movers thing or just pile it all into a u-haul. I'm blessed with friends here who want to help with packing and even transport, and friends in SJ who're ready to receive it - and me+kid+cats. A couple of the latter will fly up to help take care of last minute stuff, and to ease me out of town.

It helps too to have a mental image of where the condo's located. Getting the keys will be the next step, one currently scheduled for early next week. (Yes, I'm taking Yet Another Trip south.) I'm still not at the point of being able to really say yes, I'm going to be a Californian - but I'll have an address. It's a start.

The adventure continues

2009-05-30T09:48:00.000-07:00

The Corporate Masters don't use anything resembling a real calendar. The calendar, after all, was Not Invented Here(TM). Instead, we pass time with an arcane system of "workweeks". Yesterday, for example, was WW22.5 - Friday of workweek 22.

After almost ten years, I'm sufficiently indoctrinated to be largely incapable of thinking in terms of strange moon-based designations of time that have odd names of various deities and rulers. Sure, I could talk about my birthday in terms of how far into the month honoring Julius Caesar the specific day lands, but it's much easier to simply note that this year it'll land on WW28.4.

As the time for our move to San Jose draws nearer, more folks are asking for details of the move. Here's what I know so far. I'm asking for a cubicle in the South Bay cube farm beginning WW27.1. It's the first day of a new quarter, and although we're not doing this as an "official" move to avoid incurring too many costs, it's a good day to have that lined up. I'll also have what's known as a "PAN change" - I have no idea what that means, really, other than that to the Corporate Masters, I'll be a California-based employee, not an Oregon-based one. My manager and reporting structure and job all remain the same, but taxes will be withdrawn as of then and dumped into the black hole that is the State of California operating budget.

Within three minutes of that change, I plan to register to vote in California. I may not be part of the problem, I'm not sure I'll be down there long enough to be part of the solution, but I'll happily join the ranks of those yelling for something to be done.

The move itself - well, it'll happen in stages. I'm currently scheduled to fly down on WW25.1 to sign lease paperwork, but since that's the day between Father's Day and my dad's birthday, I'm contemplating pushing that out a bit, perhaps to 25.3. The wee hours of 27.1 will see the kid & I landing across the country, as I drop him off for a couple weeks with his grandparents. I will fly back to OR on 27.3. I need to line up and schedule movers, and depending on their timing and costs, I expect to have stuff packed up and out the door around my birthday - 28.4, for those keeping track at home.

The kid returns from the East Coast on 29.4, but I may still be in the Bay Area then. He'll probably hang out with his dad, godfather, and my dad 'til 30.3. A cousin's wedding in Yakima is at the end of WW30, so we'll go to that, and then head back to Portland to catch a flight home - which by then will be... San Jose.

And yes, it is home - or will be. Lease papers are prepped, deposit's in. A few friends will be helping with furniture selection, doing an IKEA run or three after I get the keys but before we arrive. It's also 3BR - partly so I have a place where I can work, and also to provide a place for friends and family to land. (Y'all are going to visit, right? RIGHT? Bueller?!?!?) I also picked it because it's in the complex where a couple of friends live, a mere 2/3 of a mile from another friend, and pretty much equidistant from work and the kid's school - and other wonderful friends who made the trek from Oregon to San Jose just two years ago. Familiarity's good - the kid's been to the complex and remembers the pool well. He's happy.

School begins WW34.4. WW36.1-5 I'm to be back on the East Coast for a conference. Sometime in the WW42ish range, I expect to head to Mexico for a week - miss it terribly, and it'll have been over a year by then. That, of course, is in the "Octomonth" - which, when one tries to use the standard calendar, would be Month 10.

So many things moving of their own accord now, and I'm aware of how few are really under my own control, no matter how easily I can plug them in to the "workweek calendar". I'm finding the precision comforting, even though I know it's illusory.

Home?

2009-05-22T19:01:00.000-07:00

What do you think? Should I take it?

Oh wait - that's not San Jose, that's Barcelona. Much as I'd love love love to be moving there in a few weeks ... or Mexico City ... San Jose it will be. And that's a good thing, really. It's a lovely place, and rumor has it that there's a few little places that are attempting to find their inner quirkiness. Portland it's not - but it'll be an adventure nonetheless. Berkeley, Santa Cruz, and the City herself are all nearby.

Right now the question's housing. I've applied for one condo, conveniently located, in fact where The Student & his beloved live. The Plan(TM) (ha.) was to be further downtown, but this place does have the advantage of being roughly between school and my office, and also in a really diverse neighborhood. Right by VTA, right by a grocery store, right by a taqueria. The Student will be gone for his research year for his doctorate, but his spouse will be in town, and having him so close by is way cool for very many reasons. (The Kid, of course, sees an opportunity to prove his Wii dominance, and I daresay there'll be some of that going on.) There's also something to be said for staying in a place I know well already, and in fact where I stay when I'm traveling down there anyway. It's comfortable, quiet, and stable. (Which is more than can be said for California itself these days.)

But - if the leasing company says no, I'm really comfortable with that, too. No rush, and lots of options. Maybe even too many options...

It's all feeling rather real. Methinks it's time for the kiddo and me to go to Videorama and get some more Futurama episodes. Escapism sounds like the plan for tonight. And if I can't go to Barcelona right now, or Mexico, Futurama sounds like a lovely place to be.

It's never pretty

2009-05-16T06:21:00.000-07:00

The photo a couple posts back of all of those neat U-Haul boxes, carefully stacked - ha. The people at the ad agency who produced that stuff have obviously never really moved themselves. Today's photo is of my living room, just about ten minutes ago. The home office is even worse. No photos of that - this is a family blog, after all. Oh, the humanity!

It's been a frenzied few days. I flew to the Bay Area to be present for The Student's PhD qualifying exams, which he took and passed on Tuesday. He flew back up here with me on Wednesday, and the past two days have been spent packing boxes, with visits to friends interspersed within. He flies back home today, leaving me with a work-in-progress. The move seems very, very real right now. Not much is packed yet - the medicine cabinet, DVDs, and many shelves worth of books. Still - of everything in this house, the things that matter are the kid, the cats, and my books. Having the last of those three largely ready for transit makes it impossible to deny that yup - we're heading outta here.

These next few weeks will be a blur. Work remains in high gear, the school year is winding down, and there's still the little matter of figuring out where the boxes will be unpacked upon our arrival in San Jose. There's a little more clarity around the date - thinking mid-July right now - but beyond that, more unknowns than not.

At least the books are packed.

And so shall it be

2009-05-09T16:43:00.001-07:00

We're headed to the Bay Area. No, not to Lake Merritt where this photo was taken, but it's safe to say that we'll be up there pretty often, too. If the Corporate Masters weren't in the South Bay, I'd be in Oakland in a heartbeat, just to be able to walk around Lake Merritt every day.

I'll skip the full backstory, but suffice it to say that this wasn't the easiest decision. Truly, it's a decision between two really fabulous options - the chance to stay in a city that I love, moving to a condo or apartment to ratchet down all of the stuff I'm juggling was compelling. So too was the opportunity to spend at least a year living in a sunny city where we've many friends as well, including some other refugees from Puddletown. Dealing with the rain, paying the "sun tax" - no clear-cut answers either way.

This past month or so has been a time of pretty intense prayer, discernment, and checking in with folks ranging from my spiritual direction peer mentor to friends from the "wayback machine" - years ago - to come up with the answer. Most paths led to the same destination - it's all good. The kid loved his visit at the school in California, and he's having a more-or-less OK school year up here as well - or at least, as he put it, "It's way better than last year." I'll take that.

What it came down to was pretty simple. Another part of my life that's way out of balance is and has been work. Three managers in eight weeks, more work than we can fathom how to deal with, and increasing tension around different workstyles and dynamics threatening to blow the whole pop stand apart. A colleague said, "Look, we you have all that spiritual direction training; go see what you can do to help sort this out." Add to that the training that's part of my job, but which hasn't been offered nearly as broadly as it's needed - again, a casualty of the economy and travel restrictions. There's many opportunities to make some professional changes and have a better work/life balance while living close enough to commute by bike in the decent weather... all so compelling.

The kid saw a print ad for the Monterey Bay Aquarium early last week, and started making a list of things he wants to do during the year we'd be gone, just in case we were going to make the move. Dad's practically measuring for drapes, ready to head into the house as soon as we're packed up and out. (ETA of that is mid-July, but more on that later.)

Therefore we're making that big step forward in faith. I don't know what it'll be like, but I'm curious to find out. The kid was up for spending a year in Mexico and asked if that still might be an option someday - he's ready for this adventure, too. Working on details now so he keeps strong connections with his dad & dad's SO, godparents, grandpa, and friends - hey, maybe he'll have his own blog!

More as we know it, but we'll start with this for now. And now I'm off to mow the lawn - a task made more enjoyable now, because I know it'll be permanently off my list of things to do soon!

Whichever way...

2009-05-02T13:09:00.000-07:00

I've promised myself that I'd begin updating & blogging just as soon as I figured out whether I'll be in Portland or head to San Jose for about a year starting this summer. Quite literally over the course of a day, the 'decision' changes. I wake up at 3am in a panic; how can I move, how can I uproot the child, how can I get everything done that I need to do to get from here to California. I'm now practiced at getting myself back to sleep. By about seven, coffee in hand, I can sit with the liminality and uncertainty, telling myself to take things a step at a time, and that the next steps are getting the kid to school and getting me to work.

By noonish, I'm convinced that I'm ready to go to San Jose. I've usually heard from one or more friends or family down there, many of whom don't know one another (yet), with everything from suggestions for apartments, a mention of a new cool place the kid will love, and offers to help organize - either up here or there.

Later in the afternoon I wobble - friends at the kid's school, the folks who keep the kidlet after class, the soccer folks - all part of what I know I'll miss if I'm away. And then the kid starts talking about wanting to get to the Aquarium on Fisherman's Wharf again, the Monterey Bay Aquarium, and the science center in Golden Gate Park that was closed the last time we were in the City.

In short - it's not easy. And work is really, really rough right now in many respects, which doesn't help. It's taking more emotional energy and plain old consciousness than it should, and that doesn't begin to touch the time investment. But right now, a paycheck's a paycheck, and I really do like the majority of the work itself and have some fabulous coworkers. It's not sustainable long-term, though, not like this.

So I'm tackling things bit by bit. Kid is with my dad right now, and I'm getting a particularly difficult bit of work done. Later I'll pack up some stuff for Goodwill, and pack up other stuff for an eventual move - somewhere. Tee Bee Dee. Mass at 5, then a bit more packing, perhaps. Just don't know quite where the boxes will be unpacked yet.

Be it resolved that...

2009-01-02T18:39:00.001-08:00

I don't generally do New Year's resolutions. The turn of the year is simply a day, and its primary significance relates to my relationship with the IRS, really. Do I have enough deductions? Do I have my papers ready for the annual "pizza and Tax Cut Pro" evening with the kid's godfather?

This year, though, there are a few things I need to track, and just as I did several years ago on a different blog when I was seriously doing bike training, I'm probably going to use this space for public humiliation and approbation, as well as it being a convenient spot for me to find the notes I keep. So without further ado:

1) Health. I turned 40 in July, and it's felt like my body's falling apart ever since. I've gained ~10 pounds in the past 8 weeks - I'm at 165 pounds (!!!!!) and I'm up at least 15 since I was in Mexico City last summer. I'm thinking something else is going on there, though - I've not eaten that badly. I'll be visiting my doctor on the 8th, and expect a battery of tests, as well as the obligatory "Welcome to 40" mammogram prescription. SOOO not happy about that, but it's time.

2) Health - the bike. I have this awesome bike sitting in my living room staring at me. When I was riding >100 miles/week, I felt great, looked great, and was juggling everything well. Now I'm not riding, and the operative word is "blah". I did 30 minutes on the trainer a few days ago, and have a goal of doing it two of the next 3 days. (Snow/rocks in the roads - can't ride outside on the road bike right now, sadly.)

3) San Jose. This move could be reasonably smooth, or it could be a stressfest, a disaster, or could crash around my ears entirely, leaving me still in Portland and depressed at the failure. It's all a matter of planning. Now - I know planning. My job is all about planning, planning methodologies, and helping people plan multiyear, multi-billion dollar programs. If I can be disciplined enough to apply what I do at the office to what I need to do at home, even the complex stuff like selling the house and working out family logistics will be a piece of cake. If not... well ...

4) Debt. Oh wait - this "resolution" from years ago is a nonissue! Yeah - I really did it. Credit card debt is GONE. Years ago, my mom had told me that upon her death I'd be OK, but ... well, she lived. A LONG time. When she finally did pass in mid-October, my credit card debt was down to a couple thousand dollars. It'd have been paid off by December 31th anyway. I'm really happy that I did it under my own power, though. Still have the mortgage (which will go away when I sell the house), the car (haven't decided whether I should pay that one faster), and student loans (ugh - forever) - but just having the evil plastic done feels good.

Long. Boring. Sorry. If I don't start posting mileage, bike maintenance, and move planning info here, get on my ass, ok? For now, I'm off to shuffle some laundry and take down the Christmas tree. Maybe I'll even get my butt on the bike. We'll see.

And 2009 it is...

2009-01-01T13:17:00.000-08:00

Oh, so many changes - writing about most of them at Facebook, but one of my resolutions (ha) for this year - especially for the next several months - is to keep this site better updated. For now - the superfast rundown:

1) I was not in Mexico for the Feast of Nuestra Madre (12/12) - and ached to be there.
2) The economy really sucks.
3) Yes, I'm still employed.
4) The economy - it's abysmal.
5) I have permission to work remotely all of next year should I choose.
6) The economy is terrible.

So - as a result, over the past several weeks I've made the decision that we're not going to be headed to Mexico next year. It's not a happy realization, not at all. However, as the primary income source for my family, and especially as the "safety net" for a handful of others right now, it feels ... foolish? selfish? imprudent? - to park myself out of sight of the corporate masters for such a long time.

And so we're going for "Plan B". Dates are still fuzzy, but at some point after school's out in the spring, the Kid and I will pile everything that's not previously been stored into a U-Haul and head to San Jose. My employer's headquarters are there, and I'm already there quite often for meetings or to conduct training courses. We have family there, although part of that family - the grad student - will still be in Mexico, doing PhD research. Getting to Mexico to visit will be simpler from there, though, so it's a workable compromise. Or so I'm trying to tell myself as a consolation, at least.

It's a big move. In many ways, going to Mexico for a year seemed simpler. San Jose may also just be for a year - or it could be longer. I won't say "permanent", because ironically, Mexico as a longer-term destination is looking more likely than ever. First, though, we have to get through the great recession - or worse. For me, my skills, my background - San Jose is as safe as it gets for that.

The photo above is from the Tech Museum of Innovation - one of the many cool places in San Jose. The Kid will be taking a couple of classes there this summer - similar to the ones he took at OMSI here in Portland. Good sciency stuff, good chance to hang with other geeky kids, and adjust to being there. I still have to sort out schools - I visited a parochial school a few weeks ago, and will check out a couple of other options when I'm back later in January.

Anyway - that's the news from rainy Portland for now. Still grumpy about the loss of the year in Mexico, but it's for the right reasons, and all will be well in the end.

A safe and happy 2009 to all of y'all. Pax.

Home, of sorts

2008-11-09T20:22:00.000-08:00

Odd to have a photo that's not from my travels, but this is one of my favorite hometown landmarks. Once the sign for the White Stag clothing company, this neon relic sits at the west end of the Burnside Bridge here in Portland. Starting around Thanksgiving, the stag is adorned with a bright red light on its nose. I'll try to get a photo of that, too.

I'm in Portland for now. I spent much of this past week in San Jose, celebrating a beloved friend's 40th birthday and attending church with him and his husband the next day. I had all sorts of plans to see folks down there this week, but realized that with everything around my mom's illness and death and the aftermath and then ramping back up at work, exhaustion was setting in bigtime. So although I did head into the office while I was there, the rest of the time I spent lounging around my friends' place doing, well, nothing.

Bliss.

Today was my mom's memorial service and reception. It was held at the chapel where I'd attended college and where she worked for many years. It was a really beautiful and touching ceremony. The reception was great, although by the end of it I was ready for a nap. Too many interfaces, too many people to be "on stage" with. It's why I work in a little cubicle and try to deal with people one on one. The kid managed fine; he grabbed food and found a corner.

Tomorrow really starts "what happens next" - life without my mom around, and with no mom-related things to deal with, other than some estate settling. Tonight I'm paying bills, doing laundry, and getting ready for the week ahead. Some of that has to involve getting my bike tuned up; not riding has given me about 15 new pounds that I don't really think I want to keep, thanks. Ugh.

In about a week I'll update status on next year. It's still simmering, just was on the back burner while we dealt with everything with Mom.

Is this thing on?

2008-11-05T20:09:00.000-08:00

Oh, so much time, so many things.

My mom passed peacefully on October 17, with friends and family by her side. She is at peace now, and that alone has made the past couple of weeks truly grace-filled. After so many years of pain, she's free. Her memorial service is this coming Sunday afternoon, and family & friends are traveling to be in town for the occasion.

Meanwhile - my trips to California have picked up again. I'm here now, heading back to Puddletown in the morning. Will probably come back in ~3 weeks, bringing the kid along for a couple of days. I miss him; don't like being away from him for this long, even though "this long" is only five days.

Still amazed by the Obama election - and saddened by the vote on Prop 8 in California. As I posted on Facebook, though, it's a speedbump, not a wall.

Mexico? At one point last week it looked like I'd be heading down in January for a week, but schedule-wise and logistics-wise, it made little sense. Still don't know about next year either; to some extent that's resting on a few other variables, most of which aren't in my hands.

Anyway - hope to be back blogging again soon, prob'ly after I get through this weekend's events and fully catch up at work again. Wrote a bit at StreetProphets as part of the "Write to Marry" effort on 10/29, but otherwise have been just trying to keep the relevant balls in the air.

Time Out

2008-09-27T07:41:00.000-07:00

Hey - most of y'all are either getting email or following things via Facebook, but seemed like a good idea to drop a quick update here as well.

We're now in the last days to a week or so of my mom's life. She's on in-home hospice now, but will almost certainly be moving to a residential hospice facility within the next 2-3 days. I'm going over today or tomorrow to help pack a few things for her to take. My dad, my cousin & I will be responsible for going through the rest of her things later. I'm her financial POA, so there's a mountain of stuff to go along with that, too.

We're doing well, all in all. My mom's been sick nearly all of her life, on disability since 1997, and more or less homebound for the past 3 years. She's had a fascinating life in her almost-65 years, and it's because of her spirit that I even think about doing things like packing up the kid and living in Mexico for a year. Or taking my liberal arts degree into a high tech company. Or even having this kid in the circumstances through which he came about.

So - it's sad, yes - but also joyful, because she gets to go hang with God 24/7 and be free of the intense pain she's been in for so very long. She's ready, and I'm ready to let her go in peace, too. It's time.

Kid's doing OK - we're keeping his schedule as normal as possible - including the 9am soccer game we're about to go to now. (Ouch.) I'm not traveling for several weeks at least; my amazingly fabulous coworkers are all supportive of whatever I need to be able to do to keep myself, the kid, and everything else in balance.

So - that's why I've not been blogging all that much.

A couple quick updates, though. Back to school night was Thursday. Per the kid, I asked the principal if there'd be any issue with him being gone for a year, then returning to the school. Of course not. He's in the one grade that has two classes (something in the water that year?) - so there's a little extra space, but they'd want to hang onto him anyway. I've not said much about it, but he has been talking about the idea more and more, including with his friends, and I think it's becoming a little more real. Still a few things to figure out before I can say we're definitely doing it, but it's another step.

Anyway - more soon, I hope. Thoughts, prayers, candles all welcome. We're doing ok - it'll just be a rough few weeks.

Pax, all.

Chicago was not on the itinerary

2008-09-14T06:13:00.000-07:00

Just a brief one for now; may have lots and lots of time later to write, though.

I'm in Chicago - at the O'Hare Hilton, in fact. I have the clothes on my back and the few books in my carryon - the rest of my luggage is presumably in Portland. A delayed departure from Munich, coupled with Tropical Storm Ike heading through the Midwest meant that I missed my already-too-short connection last night. The weather's only worse today, and given that as much as I love flying, I hate takeoff, well, it'll be interesting.

Talked with the kidlet for awhile last night. He's with his dad & is totally fine, but I miss him terribly nonetheless. Starting to think it's time to suck it up and bring him along on some trips. It's just not worth it to be away... I'm also really not happy about not being home. I'd hoped to spend a good chunk of this afternoon with my mom - valuable time in short supply. I'll probably figure out a way to skip out of wok for an afternoon in the next few days, assuming, that is, that I get to Portland today.

OK. Shower, put on clothes I first donned in Barcelona... let's see... nearly 40 hours ago now, and locate coffee and food. I'm on standby for a 3-something flight - we'll see if that flies (no pun intended) today.

Mi español no me guarda ahora.

2008-09-07T16:10:00.000-07:00

Made it to Barcelona today, uneventfully, all in all.
"Today" is a fuzzy concept. I woke up as usual at about 6am on Saturday, feeling vaguely achy and generally not all that up for getting on a plane for a really long time. Friday evening had been worse (see previous post). Still managed to throw the essentials in a suitcase and get to PDX to catch the Lufthansa flight out.

I'd forgotten how many people from work travel over to Europe, and how much sense it makes to leave on Saturday to be marginally rested for Monday meetings. Ran into a couple of friends at the airport, as well as a handful of other borg-dwellers who were headed across the pond.

It's now ... well, 2:15am on Monday in Barcelona, or 4:15pm on the West Coast of the USA. I napped for a couple of hours today, but otherwise haven't slept. I'm not all that tired, but will try to push myself into bed shortly in hopes of landing on Barcelona time tomorrow. There's a workshop I could attend for the conference, but I'll probably just see some sights instead. My first "official" event will be a cocktail party I really do need to attend tomorrow evening, and I'd like to be marginally coherent there, yes.

It's been funny trying to navigate with my Spanish in a city where spoken Spanish is markedly different and the primary language is Catalan - which I know not at all. I made it through dinner in Spanish, as well as requesting a loan of a power adapter (knew I'd forget something), but it's not the same as Mexico, no.

We'll see how tomorrow goes. For now, trying to turn an "afternoon nap" into a full night's sleep. More on Barcelona tomorrow, but for now - doing well, feeling great, happy to be here - but missing the kidlet terribly.

Barcelona-bound

2008-09-05T21:40:00.000-07:00

Just a brief one - buried in work stuff, packing, trying to get the chaos in the house down to a dull roar. I leave tomorrow for a week in Barcelona, where I'll attend a conference for work & present in a panel discussion on Thursday.

Right now, I want little more than to go crawl into bed. I can't tell if I'm coming down with something, or if the stress is just beating me down. Hoping for the latter. Goal for tonight is to send off the powerpoint for my presentation, get a semblance of packing done, and be in bed no later than 10:30pm (about 50 minutes from right now). Ordinarily I'd be up and at 8am Mass tomorrow. That's still the plan, but I'm turning off the alarm clock. If I wake up and go, great. If not, well, I needed the sleep, I guess.

Back to the presentation now - it's overdue, but ... well, it's been a long day. Long week. Long month. Long year.

What happened to that 'sabbatical'? Hm....

OK, OK... what I'll really miss...

2008-09-01T13:27:00.000-07:00

My Little Parish(TM).

For awhile yesterday my Facebook status said something to the effect of how grateful I am for the little Roman Catholic parish that I call "home" - and that it really took being away from it for the greater part of this year for me to truly appreciate how central it is to Who I Am. Lots of reasons for being away, and I'm not likely to ever be back at the point where I'm there 4-5 times a week. The Kid going to school at a different (albeit related through the religious community that runs both) parish is enough to get us to split our time.

But it's been good to be back. The Kid & I went to Mass today at 10am, joined by about ten other folks who were able to make it in. With so much stuff in the air right now, it feels good to be able to wander into that little corner.

I was talking with a friend yesterday afternoon, just catching up and chronicling the past several months, then talking about what's coming up. School starting. Mom being on hospice. The super-big-project at MegaCorp that I'm working on right now that's testing every influencing and leadership skill that I've ever managed to scrape together. The house - that I'm considering selling, because it's just Too Much Work. The idea of getting a condo, maybe in St. Johns. Contemplating what I'll need to do for my dad after my mom passes. Running low on cat food. Kid soccer season starting. Paying bills. Getting ready for the panel discussion on which I'm to participate in just over a week at a work conference in Europe. Planning to spend an academic year in Mexico, starting next July or so. Missing BeTSy, my beloved bicycle. No, she's not gone - in fact, she's a mere seven or so feet away as I write - but I've not had time to spend with her this year, and I really miss those rides. They brought me equanimity, helped me find sanity so many times.

There's probably a dozen or so other things I could list above - other stressful events or situations that are hovering around my head like those little anvils in the Roadrunner cartoons, but I'm not sure I want to look that closely right now, frankly. That's enough for the moment.

It's the very little things that are keeping me sane right now. As I wrote about a week ago, being very conscious of what I can do, what I can't do, and maintaining those boundaries - priceless. Also probably pissing some people off, but it all goes back to the oxygen mask metaphor that I'm reminded of on every single one of my trips (over 30 takeoffs so far this year, believe it or not): "If you're traveling with others who may need assistance, put your own oxygen mask on first, before helping children or other passengers with their masks." (Is it wrong that I always want to shout, "Amen, Sister!" whenever I hear the flight attendent - of whatever gender, mind you - recite that line?)

If I don't take care of myself, my life will be sh*t and I'll be utterly unable to be of any use at all to anyone else at all, least of all this little creature who's starting fifth grade tomorrow. So yeah - I hold the line, and I'm doing OK.

Part of that for me is keeping an anchor tossed in the places that nourish me, that nurture me, that are the calm amidst everything else. Here in Portland, it's that little parish that smells of stale alcohol, urine, and unwashed bodies, the place where mentally ill folks are among the altar servers, the place where even the priests admit that they don't have all the answers, that they are human beings too, doing their best to be loved by God and love their neighbors, just like the rest of us. Yeah, if I'm in Mexico for a year, it'll be hard to be away from this little place, but I'm sure I'll find a way to stay connected there, too. That's next year's issue. Today is today.

And so I continue along. The Kid & I came home after Mass; he's up cleaning his room, I'm moving furniture in the living room and bagging up stuff that will go to Goodwill. Goofing off on Facebook, challenging a couple folks with Scramble, takin' it all an hour at a time for now.

What I'll miss most...

2008-08-27T21:51:00.001-07:00

If I do this academic year in Mexico thing during 2009-2010, what I'll miss most may be surprising. I know I will long for my little veal pen of a cube at MegaCorp.

OK, not really. The 5x9 "compressed cube" with soft grey padded walls is far from an emotional experience for me, but the people who wander around it simply rock.

There's a tradition at our company around sabbaticals. When someone from the cube-dwellers' world returns from sabbatical, they are treated to some sort of cube remodel or redecoration - or else a practical joke of sorts that lets them know they were gone for eight or so weeks, but not forgotten. Our little area has turned this into an art form.

My then-manager/mentor/friend took off on her sabbatical last summer. Before her return, everything in her office was wrapped in aluminum foil. Everything.

We helped unwrap it after she returned and pictures were taken, but being good, socially-conscious Oregonians - what were we to do with all of that foil?!? Why - recycle! So - each subsequent sabbatical has meant not only coming up with an idea for how to best modify the soulless little box in honor of our colleague's return, but also how to reuse the foil.

One colleague is a dog fanatic, so her office was turned into a kennel, with stuffed pooches parked here and there, doggie bowls and a placemat, and a "leash" made from the foil. Those chains were then repurposed for my return, draped across the entryway of my office, and tied to a large ball with an ankle ring around it - the proverbial "ball and chain".

My office redecoration is the photo on top. Yeah - it was turned into a Starbucks. Those of you who've known me awhile may remember that I was a store manager & district skills' trainer back in the olden days, starting before the company went public and quitting when it hit about 100 stores. I still have my skills' trainer certificate hanging in my cube; it's not visible in this picture, but is just to the right of the "Viva Mexico" banner. That banner's one of the few things from my "normal" (is there such a thing?) cubicle; everything else was moved under the desk so the espresso machines could be put in place, along with cups, napkins, brochures, and beans. A sign on the wall read "In case sabbatical reentry doesn't work out, Plan B: Starbucks!"

Best of all, they gave me a bottled Mocha Frappucino, a couple boxes of pastries (shared with the hospitality staff at my parish later that day) and a box of biscotti. :)

It was great to come back to such a thoughtful and funny cube remodel. I headed off to San Jose the next day, and my friends restored my cube to its previous glory (?).

So that's the tradition. In this case, it's particularly touching, though, because while we all used to work in the same little organization, reorgs have scattered us to different subteams within a much bigger group. Truth be told, we all still do work together closely; we're friends, we know each other's areas of expertise, and the result of any two or more of us working together always produces something greater than just the sum of each of our individual work products.

I really missed these people.

One of them wasn't there to see the results of the redecoration. The colleague who covered my sabbatical went off on his own eight-week break two weeks before my return. I'm his primary coverage in his absence. He's also the one who comes up with many of the great ideas for what to do to the cubes, and then he somehow manages to avoid doing any of the work. Early October - payback time!

So what does this have to do with the kid, with me, with Mexico? Well ... nothing's written in stone yet, and the amount of work to do between now and June-ish looks daunting. BUT - the first pass at surveying the "veto-holders" of such an endeavor is over, and the responses are pretty clear. "Go south, chica!" The kid's dad & I talked about it over sushi last night. What're the dates we're thinking? What do I know about schools? Would we be in Mexico City, Guadalajara, or ...? What's the latitude, and the altitude? What's it like there?

Yeah. It's looking like the first stage - "Is this even remotely possible" - is a go. Now - moving on to the next steps.

It's funny - part of my job at work is managing content details for our lifecycle frameworks - the guides for how we do development across lots of different teams. I now find myself looking at this adventure of a year in Mexico as yet another project, with milestones and decision checkpoints. I'm identifying stakeholders, and if I'm not careful, I may even call a meeting - with PowerPoint.

Oh. A couple of y'all have asked if I'll continue to work while I'm there. I dunno, but I'm optimistic. The company is on the list of "significant stakeholders" - but not necessarily a veto-holder. Didn't see the point of jumping into that discussion before getting the green light from those who could raise issues that'd get me to call off the analysis already. However, I've passed the idea by some folks with good initial responses, so ... we'll see. Stay tuned. Maybe they'll let me take my comfy little cube with me...

"Only do what you can do"

2008-08-25T22:01:00.000-07:00

Theme for the day.

Today was my first real day back at what work's like most of the time. Sure, I officially went back last week, but I spent most of the week at our Bay Area site, not here, and spent very little time on-campus. I have a mountain of articles to read to prep for the conference in two weeks in Spain, and they've taken most of my work-related brain cells this past week.

But today I went back to the cubicle maze and parked myself in my little pen for the day. Know what? It felt fabulous. First, I realized that I truly do work with some of the very best and brightest people in my discipline, and I've missed them. Next - well, our cafeteria is utterly kick-@ss. I eat much better at work than at home.

I needed the facetime today, and also needed to check in with various people to give them updates. As I think I've mentioned (yeah - I must've; M sent email about it), my mom's on hospice. At some point, I'll be checking out of work - probably with little notice - and won't be back for a bit. I checked into the company's leave policies, but due to some of the oddities of my job (intensely flexible schedule - which is my salvation), taking intermittent FMLA leave would mean 1) having to work a normal schedule, and 2) getting my wages docked for the hours that I'm not working a normal schedule. If I don't take leave, well, then I'm just on my 'normal' intensely flexible schedule.

In other words, taking the leave to gain flexibility will lose flexibility - and money. Four different people at grade levels much higher than my own, including one who lost a parent last year, all said the same thing - "You would be freaking insane to even think about it, because if you do, [insurance company] calls the shots. If you don't, [employer] calls the shots, and they're way more humane."

What's been brought home for me over the past few days is that, contrary to a nickname someone I dated briefly gave me once, I am not "Elastigirl" from The Incredibles. I cannot do everything. And so a phrase my therapist drilled into my head comes back to me - "Only do what you can do." (Doobie-doobie-doo.)

The house is ... chaos. The dandelion farm has taken over any semblance of whatever was once a lawn. The fireplace tile is finally done - 2.5 years and $1100 later. Chimney cap must be replaced before the rainy season starts. The upstairs toilet is acting weird, and a downstairs ceiling needs a patch. The basement is a mess. The stove still isn't fully settled, and any plants growing in the yard are in need of attention.

School is starting a week from tomorrow. For once, school supplies are purchased, but I've done nothing about uniforms yet. Soccer starts tomorrow; bought cleats ... today.

Only do what you can do.

That's going to be my mantra for the next couple of months, I think. Only do what I can do, and not feel guilty about what I cannot do. Sounds so simple... but then again, I'm Catholic. Guilt'R'Us. It means not taking family leave, not dropping work altogether, because it's what's staving off depression (well, and poverty ;^) ) right now. It means not doing a couple of committees at the school this year - or at least this fall. It may even mean selling the house & moving to a condo - we'll see.

It means being very, very aware of my limits, and honoring them. We'll see how that goes.

Enough for now. Off to groom the cats and tackle another article before bedtime. (Oh - and the photo's from Queretaro, first night we were there back in late June.)

Of those 43 things...

2008-08-23T17:56:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, I was a devotee of 43things. Haven't been there in ...wow, maybe a couple of years. Thinking about going back to check it out.

What prompted this? Well - the thought occurred to me a couple of times in Mexico, and I've also mentioned it in some of the courses I teach for the corporate masters as a handy-dandy way of visualizing real-life "Evo" at a personal, rather than software (or silicon) development project level. Pretty nifty.

But it came to mind again today as I flailed in the pool over at the condo where the Student and the Teacher live. Once upon a time, I took swim lessons for a bit. At six, the kid was terrified of water, terrified of doing something that he wasn't really good at, and our astute pediatrician noted that he really needed to see me struggle with something, so he'd get the idea that it's OK for things to be really hard sometimes, and that even failure is OK - it's perseverance that's essential.

So - we both took swimming lessons. He stuck with it, and swims fairly well. Once he was off being a little fishy, I stopped. (OK, his soccer games also conflicted with the adult swim class, but still...)

The Student was on swim team in HS (I think), and is an excellent swimmer. The Teacher & I are his students now - although the Teacher's further along than I am. I was going to go down and hang out and watch them swim, and then at the last minute decided, no, I'd get in the pool. Terrified, not wanting to make a fool of myself, hating my cyclists-body-gone-slack-from-no-riding ... even with all of that, I'd do it.

So I did. It was a blast - enough so that we didn't make it out of the pool in time for dinner before I needed to leave to catch my flight back to Portland, but that's OK. It was cutting it close, but I'm through security, and in the amazingly wifi-enabled SJC now, waiting for the flight home. I get to see me my kidlet tonight, which makes me happy. I miss him when I travel...

I'm sure there's all sorts of lessons in this little swim experience, and it's one I'll probably spend time meditating on over the next week or so. It was good. It was fun.

(And no. No photos. :) )

Not Mexico

2008-08-22T00:31:00.001-07:00

Astute readers will note that while "Santa Clara" is, in fact, technically a Spanish phrase ("Saint Clare"), Toto and I are not in Kansa... er, Mexico now.

Nope.

Nor is the photo current - it dates from mid-July. However, I am in San Jose right now, and work in Santa Clara when I'm here. This trip was a "check in with the colleagues" visit - and ended up also being a "have a discussion with a senior manager about a couple of concerns" chat as well. My job's such that coworkers are scattered all around the globe, but there's a definite critical mass here in the Bay Area, and as a result, I'm here pretty often. Looks like "pretty often" will translate into "nearly every other week for a couple of days", at least through the fall. There's a significant project underway that's testing some of my work, and I've been asked to be very proactive in embedding myself with that team, walking with them as they take it on. O... kay.

Lots of ambiguity (surprise, surprise) - including whether the guy who actually pays me out of his budget wants to support that effort, but it's important enough that it'll get worked out sooner or later. In the meantime, I get to spend time with family and friends down here. Hung out awhile today with a friend from the borg who bailed about a year ago, and moved with his family - kids were around The Kid regularly as young tots - to Cupertino. Tomorrow's an evening with ...oh, let's say "The Theologian", and I'm staying with the Student and the Teacher from earlier in sabbatical.

But it's not Mexico. And no, I've not put everything around the concept of spending a school year there on hold, not in the slightest. Several conversations last week, including with my mom, her cousin, a few folks at work, one of the Kid's godparents. May write up an Evo plan for it later this weekend, but that's only because I'm a hopeless geek.

More work tomorrow, then the City in the evening. Mmm... feels so good to be here.

Back

2008-08-15T10:38:00.001-07:00

But is it a sign?

Went to get a very badly-needed haircut this morning. My regular stylist was booked between now & when I go to SJC next week, so I scheduled an appointment with a different stylist at the salon. Anglo-sounding name... but no. She's from Irapuato, her boyfriend is from el DF. We had a great time talking about Mexico, about my thoughts about living down there for a year, etc.. She told me about an Anglo couple who moved to Irapuato two years ago, initially just to take a break from this crazy culture - but they ended up staying.

Wow.

Reentry's been OK so far. Got home late to find the friend who's been crashing at my place off/on still here. We stayed up talking 'til 2:30am, and he's given me plenty of food for thought about how to get through the next year or so at work, how to possibly get the borg to support me telecommuting from Mexico for a year, and especially about how I might manage quite well as a single parent with a kid in Mexico. Still seems a little daunting - but vamos a ver.

Waiting to hear from the person who's tending the cats. Now that my hair's dealt with, the kid's hair is next. Then checking in with the folks, laundrylaundrylaundrylaundry - and starting to contemplate the metaphysics of (shudder) returning to the cube farm on Monday.

Oh, and finding the freakin' camera cable so I can post photos. On the flight yesterday I was thinking about how I can post a photo a day from the summer with commentary, and that it'll get me through the next year. Just might work...

OK. Back to reality for now. See a couple of y'all this weekend, I hope.

Leavin'...

2008-08-14T07:11:00.000-07:00

... on a midnight plane to Portland...

Yeah. Busily packing, trying to figure out if it'll all fit (somehow), if I need to get another piece of luggage (oh please no), or if, as a friend suggested last night, I just leave some stuff here. Well, the kid has two pairs of jeans that he's waaaaay outgrown - they may stay. But I don't think that's enough to let us get away with it.

I'm afraid it'll have to be luggage.

Anyway - last day. Our flight is after dark tonight, and yeah - we do get into Stumptown after midnight. Not sure what's on the agenda for today - kid would love to take a boat trip in Chapultepec Park, but I'm not sure we can pull that off. Maybe.

I realized this morning that for the first time in a long time, I don't know when I'm coming back. For a couple of years now, I've had at least a sense of a month when I'll be back in Mexico, and since last summer, I've known when the next trip would be (December, February, June...). Now - no clue.

Bringing the kid here for 3.5 weeks was partly a test - how would we manage? Well - being a single parent in Mexico isn't necessarily a lot harder than being a single parent in the US, and in some respects it's been easier, if artificially so. It'd certainly force my "ragged individualistic" self (thanks, Prof. C) to rely on others a whole lot more. But y'know, that's a lesson I can work on in Portland, too.

So - no easy answers. For now, it's a matter of taking the first question - do I need to get luggage? My fiscally-minded self says "no way" - but y'know, it may well be the path of least resistance, and today, when I'm sad about leaving the country & dreading going back to the cube farm, taking the easy road is tempting. So... we'll see.

Today's goal

2008-08-13T08:37:00.000-07:00

Figure out if I can get all our stuff back to the US without getting more luggage. I think I can - but we'll see. Sent one suitcase back to the West Coast with the Student from Chicago last week, so we just have the one, plus our daypacks. I really hope it'll work, but...

From my list - we did get to the Basilica, and did get one of the books for the Student - a lovely large art/architecture study of convents in the 1800s, or some such stuff. Contacted friend in Tlaxcala; didn't hear back, but hopefully she's not upset that we didn't make it this trip. Haven't looked at clothes, and sadly, I think the Tlatelolco museum is going to have to wait, too. We walked all over Coyoacan yesterday, and another day of "let's follow Mom around, even though she's not quite sure where we're going!" is not likely to be met with joy by the kidlet.

Coyoacan was phenomenal, though. It's easily a place where I could imagine living for a year, so it's on the list of areas to investigate further when planning begins in earnest.

So - we'll start with coffee (yeah - way late. Packing has been a distraction), and then take it from there, I guess.

Oh - and I'm not sure where I put my camera cable. Hope to update pictures when I can find it, and add more to the blog, too. It's probably in the bottom of a daypack somewhere.

Counting down the days

2008-08-11T08:04:00.001-07:00

We fly back to Portland - I cannot call it "home" - not quite - late Thursday night. Between now & then, there's a list of things to do:

Go back to Basilica - say hi to Nuestra Madre, and pick up a couple of gifts for people in Portland

Porrua family bookstore - need to look for a book recommended to the Student for his PhD work

Check in with friend in Tlaxcala - unfortunately won't be able to make the trip there this time, but want to make tentative plans for a visit before the end of the year.

Pick up a couple of shirts at a clothing store here - need more work-appropriate (for the outside world :) ) clothes, and saw a couple of things a few weeks ago that I liked.

Go back to Rainbowland - and get a couple of things there for friends back in the US

If I can figure out exactly where it is, I'd love to see the exhibit about 1968 in Mexico City that's on one of UNAM's campus. That's the year of my birth, without a doubt a significant time in history, but one which I know about primarily from the US perspective. I do know there was a massacre at the Olympics in Mexico City, for example, but until I read the linked article, I knew nothing about killings at a political rally here that October. I need to know more about this.

I'm sure there's more - frankly, I'd like to tour rental condos, put down a deposit, figure out how to get the cats here, and notify work that I'll be ... um ... 'telecommuting' for a few weeks - like 104 of them - but no, that's not in the works, sadly.

The past few days have been interesting. A group from the parish at the Kid's school is here - the same trip that I took last summer. Despite my allergies to bus tours and organized travel, I still managed to fall in love with this city. This time, we're not on the tour formally, just joining them for a trip to Teotihuacan on Friday and Xochimilco yesterday. I may go with a group of them to the Basilica today - both to satisfy my need to go back before we leave, and to help them navigate public transportation to get there & back.

It's been a curious different form of culture shock, though. They're from a world I'm part of, but not fully integrated into, either. Even back in town, since I'm a parishioner at the parish that serves mostly homeless & mentally ill folks - not where the school's located - I'm a bit of a mystery to them, I think. They're really sweet people - but we come from different worlds. It's fun to watch them explore this place that's become such a nourishing one for me, though. They go back tomorrow; I'm looking forward to hearing their reflections when I run into them again, maybe even some of them at Mass on Friday or Sunday.

Anyway - need to finish my coffee & get going on those items. OR - if they don't all get done, can I please just stay?

Went to Mass tonight

2008-08-10T18:32:00.000-07:00

About the time of the 2nd reading - maybe 15 minutes in - I realized that it's probably the longest I've gone without going to Mass since dragging myself back to the Church several years ago. Yeah.

Not doing that again - the "putting it off" bit. No way, no how. Realized again tonight how much the liturgy is as much a part of me as my breath, my heartbeat. Away from it for too long, and I'm deprived of the oxygen I need to live. Even the kid, who doesn't know enough Spanish to follow the details, was in a much calmer mood, much happier, after spending the hour soaking in the rhythm that he understands at the core of his being, even if the words don't make sense. It helped that the Pastor of the parish where his school is located was concelebrating, and gave him Eucharist.

Feeling more grounded, more at peace, more aware of my place in God's world than I have in awhile. So stay tuned here for ... well, let's call it a "midcourse review", in the parlance of the borg, about this sabbatical, life, and everything else. Maybe even tonight.

blur and blah

2008-08-07T19:07:00.000-07:00

Back in el DF after a whirlwind trip to Chicago & its environs. Long story around that one, and longer & more complicated analysis of the few days there. Suffice it to say that I cried myself to sleep last night, feeling really disoriented, disjointed, and alien - some old crap, some new challenges - and, as was pointed out to me today by a colleague, no small measure of 'reverse culture shock'.

So now I'm back in Mexico City for just one more week. A week from tonight we'll be on a plane headed back to Portland... indefinitely. We get the cats back on Friday, which is tantamount to saying "Yep. Back." Will see my parents then, too, and see how mom's hospice stuff is going.

And somewhere in there - I go back to work.

Oh yeah - watched "Office Space" last night - not for the first time, but I'm sure it contributed to the already toxic soup that was my brain and psyche. I felt the stress drop off me like weights when I walked off the plane at the airport this afternoon.

Tomorrow - Teotihuacán. There's a group from the parish associated with the kid's school here in town - a pilgrimage trip, similar to the one I took with them last year. They're doing the pyramids tomorrow, and it's a nice walk, so we'll head on over too. Will be good to see a few friends, but we're not going to jump wholesale on the tour group... need more flexibility for the kid, and more access to my beloved Metro.

Anyway - this is just about as disjointed as I felt last night, but mostly just tired now, and much more at peace. More when I get a more stable Internet connection... including a few photos from Chicago, maybe.

geekgrrrl without a network

2008-08-02T13:14:00.000-07:00

(Most of this was written ~48 hours ago. Only reliable 'net access I'm finding is at Starbucks. Off to Chicago for 5 days tonight - will probably have better access - but less time - there. Ah well...)

Oh, the frustration of being in a hotel with a strong wireless network - and realizing that DNS resolution is horked at the router. The hotel I stayed in in December here had the same problem. It's managed by a friend of a friend, sorta, and I was able to go down and explain in garbled Spanish that I knew what was going on, and walk them through fixing it. I don't have the same "nuestro red es tu red" relationship here, so I can't just wander downstairs and ask to see their network hardware.

Probably just as well - long day & should get to sleep soon. A quick recap - up, coffee (absolute necessity) - then a trip to the Museo de la Historia Natural - kid's choice. He's up for anything prehistoric or otherwise really old; his interest wanes around the Middle Ages. Spent a few hours there, then - starving - went to the nearest place we could find - the Bosque Restaurant.

Now - it's my experience that park restaurants, particularly when surrounded by museums, are either outrageously overpriced for what they serve, or they serve utter crap - burger'n'fries of indeterminate origin, or sandwiches packed during Reagan's first term. ("Remember, children - ketchup is a vegetable!") Child & I, both tired, were sniping at each other over which this restaurant would be, or if we'd even end up staying.

Well - it was expensive. But the food - oh, the food was phenomenal. Prime Rib with creamed spinach and a lovely filet of fish in a balsalmic/tomato/olive sauce - reminiscent of puttanesca, but not quite. The restaurant is on one of the lakes in the park, and we spent at least three hours there enjoying a leisurely lunch. We were so underdressed for the place, but nobody seemed to care. It was great.

Did a quick stop at one of my favorite churches in town - the Ex-Convento de San Hipolito. When the group from the kid's school's parish is in town in just over a week, they're going to Mass there, and I was asked to swing by and figure out if the planned Mass time would work. Hung out there for a bit to pray - there's a particular devotion to St. Jude there, as well as a few others - and then wandered out.

Kid suggested that we try to catch WALL-E again - and we decided to head back to the 222 Reforma Cinemark; if it was at a good time, we'd stay, if not - we'd head back. The pesero got us to the theatre with 30 minutes to spare, and upon a second viewing, I'm happy to say that I really caught the Spanish dialogue. Way fun.

Getting home was a trip. 222 Reforma is on the edge of the Zona Rosa, Mexico City's gay hub. I stopped at a newsstand to grab a magazine, and saw a few curious looks - so odd for a woman and kid to be running around there that late. Of course, it was probably the safest place in the city for us to be - but the looks still said "Silly gringa. Well, if she brings a kid in here, she gets what she deserves if he sees this." The kid, steeped in gay culture since he was in utero, is completely oblivious to all of that - but is irate at the number of US-based megachains that populate the neighborhood - Popeye's, KFC, McDonalds, 7-11 ... Starbucks... and is ranting about global capitalism.

If you're reading this and the hotel network is still down, give thanks to Starbucks - universally the most reliable Internet access we've found in Mexico. It's funny the things that I worry about when I think about spending a school year here - besides whether I can bring the cats down, 'cause the kid misses them terribly. But also - can I get a stable WAN connection to wherever I'm living, so I can maintain the LAN myself and know it'll stay up?

Geek. (C'est moi.)

Dance along the edge

2008-07-29T21:16:00.000-07:00

It's our last night in Guadalajara. Kid's sleeping, and I'm doing anything I can to avoid packing for the 7-hour bus trip back to Mexico City tomorrow. Email - how often can I check it? Minute by minute? Oh - must unpack the egregiously-priced laundry the hotel dropped off today while we were out. My nails need trimming. OH WAIT - I can take antibiotics!

In what's either lunacy or a sign that maybe I've been here enough that I've built up antibodies to Guadalajara, I had a lovely iced americano late this afternoon at a little cafe near the Basilica of Zapopan. Now - ice is one of those big no-nos if you want to avoid turista - all sorts of creepy crawlies can live in frozen water, ready to come out as it melts in your tummy.

Or my tummy, as the case may be.

Now - I'm far from manic about the "don't drink the water" stuff. I've always brushed my teeth with it, I eat some street food, and I've never been really sick from it all. I usually do ask, though, "¿Es el hielo de agua purificada?" - is the ice from purified water?

Didn't bother at the Basilica. Odds are good that the answer would be "no" - and it was so hot, and the iced americano was soooooooooooo good...

If I'm counting correctly, today's about the 20th day I've spent in Guadalajara since 8/2006, and about the 60th or so day I've spent in Mexico in that same time period. I have "water vigilance fatigue", I guess. I've had bits of ice before, and every trip I have a day or so where my stomach has to adjust again to the insults I toss its way. Today, though, may have been over the top.

Feeling brave after the ice, we took a bus home from Zapopan - one I've taken before when I've been here for work, but riding it with the kid - and then a several-block walk through crazy traffic from the bus stop to the hotel - nutty.

We're safely here, though. I have a stash of low-level antibiotics, just in case the ice bites back. Wish me luck.

La aventura continúa

2008-07-28T19:58:00.000-07:00

I was so happy that I'd found the secret to making diacritics on the Mac, and then discovered that it didn't work with the 'ú' - somehow decided I wanted a German umlaut. So that quest continues, too.

Anyway - we're still here in Guadalajara. After a fairly leisurely morning yesterday, we inadvertantly discovered that the regionally famous Zoológico Guadalajara was not open on Tuesday, the day we'd originally planned to visit. We rapidly reworked the plan and jumped into a taxi for the 30-minute trip across town.

I'm not big on animals in cages, but I have to admire the work this zoo does to preserve endangered species and participate in efforts through breeding and releasing to increase the population of many animals that really don't exist in the wild at all otherwise. It's not a bad place; clearly under some renovation as some exhibits are modern and spacious, while others have animals contained in steel wire cages. It was an interesting way to spend the afternoon, and also a great opportunity for the Kid to run around over the absolutely massive grounds, burning up some energy stored from the previous day's 8 hour bus ride.

As I told him as we were leaving the zoo, "You'll have a great story to tell your friends for years to come, about how your mom brought you to the Zoo in Guadalajara with no idea AT ALL about how to get back to the hotel!" Yeah, the kid knows me well, and wasn't really disturbed by that reality. As we exited the zoo grounds at closing time, we did see "sitio taxis" - taxis that are identifiable, regulated, and assigned to specific sites for pickups - much safer than street taxis. But what's the fun in a $17USD taxi ride back across town when there's the adventure of the Guadalajara bus system for $0.75 US? (And that's pricey compared to Mexico City!)

I've yet to figure out if there's really routes here, or if there's just "ideas" about where the buses travel. I think a route system exists, but it's a mystery to most people. You look at the signs on the front of the bus - sometimes printed, sometimes painted on with what looks like shaving cream or soap - and identify a location that's near where you want to go, or from where you can find your way home. The buses up at the Zoo all had "CENTRO" as an option, and from the Cathedral, I can find most anything.

So we hopped on board the bus. I asked the driver for the number of a bus from downtown that would get us to Plaza del Sol, a mall which is very near our hotel. He pondered that for a few minutes before calling us up - "109". Cool. But not long after that, a woman reached over and told me that going to el Centro was silly; I could get off when her family did in a block or two, and catch a 258 directly to the mall from that same bus stop.

And it worked! About 45 minutes later we arrived back at the hotel, with plenty of pool time for the kid to spare.

Today was considerably less adventurous, as we went to the local campus of my employer for a couple of meetings. I'll spare the details; they'd only bore you, and I'm still on sabbatical after all. Suffice it to say that I really enjoy the opportunity to meet with my colleagues here, and the afternoon went well. As my Facebook status states now, how do I manage to work here more often?!?!

That's a question for a later date. For now - bedtime. Tomorrow's Tlaquepaque, Plaza del Sol (kid needs jeans), and maybe Zapopan. Wednesday - back to Mexico City!

Guadalajara!!!

2008-07-26T18:18:00.000-07:00

Three weeks after my last long bus trip from el DF to Guadalajara, I made another long bus trip from el DF to Guadalajara. The first trip was with the Student and the Teacher, who is himself a native of Jalisco, an hour or so north of here, IIRC. Of course, this being Mexico, "time" is fuzzy. Perhaps it'd take an hour to get there, or maybe four. Hard to say.

Yesterday's bus arrived about an hour late, having hit substantial slowing due to one highway expansion project and one utterly inexplicable slowdown. On the bright side, I saw three movies on the bus, which was not a bad bonus. Kid played Nintendo (!) - until Bruce Almighty (Bruce Todopoderoso) came on in English with Spanish subtitles. He thoroughly enjoyed it, seems to have picked up on the message, and spent the rest of the trip watching our progress toward Guadalajara. His tummy trouble all over (and thankfully, it never turned into anything too worrisome), we're back to enjoying the travel and each other's company.

It's hard to believe it's been just three weeks since last I was here. I'm happy to be here with the kid, but really miss the guys, too.

Staying at a different hotel this time - the one a little further out (~4 miles from downtown, maybe) where I stay when I'm here for work. I've spent about 20 nights here in the past two years, and really like the place. Its pool and gardens are a welcome refuge from the craziness of the city. It's a little surreal, though, after having spent most of the past four weeks amidst downtown noise.

Of course, I'd sleep on a rock in exchange for decent Internet access, and because this is one of the places my employer allows us to stay when we travel for work, Internet access is a given. Even with that, it dropped in the wing we're in last night. I'm in the restaurant right now where it's working; if it's not working in the room when we're back, I'll ask to move to a different area. Need to be able to do a few things for work tonight, so it's essential.

And about work ... well, yeah, this is sabbatical, but I'm going to be dropping in at my company's office here on Monday afternoon. There's a few items they've accumulated about which they'd like some input, and a couple new people who need quick training to catch up with the others. Very mixed feelings - love the site & really enjoy the people here, but it's ... work. Inching back from sabbatical, and it's not easy.

This is so NOT OK - utterly inexcusable

2008-07-26T07:18:00.000-07:00

"I hope you're not offended, but I sort of guessed that you were Americans. You know what I mean."

A 20-something woman and an older woman who was with her entered the bank's secured ATM area last night, well after dark. The kid & I were in there withdrawing cash, vaguely aware yet reasonably unconcerned about who might be coming in with us. The street was well-trafficked, and the 7-11 next door was filled with people.

The implications of the woman's statement were obvious. She felt safe coming into the secured room to use the second ATM, because neither the kid nor I were committing the offense of "banking while brown". We're not Mexican, after all, and therefore presumably wouldn't rob her of her pesos.

I was so stunned, so horrified, that I only managed to say something along the lines of how, having been here much of the summer so far, I might as well be Mexican. She commented that I looked familiar; I said that I've been in Mexico for several weeks, and felt like I must've been around just about everywhere. We established that we've been at the same hotel the last few nights, and that was that. The Kid & I left and headed back to the hotel.

Of course, once we were a few steps down the block, he asked what she'd meant. I hate those questions, but now that he's ten, I really don't filter my answers anymore. We talked about latent racism, about how people who rely on the media or movies for any sort of cultural understanding are getting a warped perspective, and yeah - a little bit about how women have both realistic and manufactured fears that undoubtedly played into her statement as well. I explained again the difference between fear and vigilance, a topic we discussed a couple days ago when reading a guidebook over breakfast that advised tourists to avoid the Metro and peseros. (We then proceeded to take both.)

He was asleep when I turned on CNN International to catch the news. The leading US story was of the beating death of a Mexican immigrant at the hands of white US teenagers. I think I'm glad that the kid didn't see that - there's no way to explain it at all, other than that it's another example of how the insane "Us vs. Them" rhetoric in the US has real consequences for real people.

I wish I'd have had the presence of mind to simply say "No, I have no idea what you mean. Can you explain why us being American mattered in the slightest?"

I don't deny that there's crime in Mexico City; hey, I've ridden the Metro, after all. At least crime is out there - you see it, you know what it is. Racism is so incredibly pervasive, something that slips in silently, so much so that a gringa who is presumably in Mexico by choice! is afraid to encounter Mexicans at the ATM.

So disappointed, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I'm sorry. We have to do better than this.

Postus interruptus

2008-07-24T22:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I was going to update with photos of Templo Mayor and today's meanderings, but the Kid started complaining of stomach cramps awhile ago, so I'm just checking for inbox essentials & posting this so those who keep track of such things know we're back in the hotel for the night. :) In fact, I'm even writing this in TextEdit up in the room, all the better to do rapid posting once I can get to the wifi after he's asleep.

Words cannot express how much I'm looking forward to Guadalajara and wifi in the room. The kid's happy that there's a pool at the hotel. Oh - and the breakfast is awesome, too. (Staying this time at the hotel I stay in when I travel there for work...) I'm not so sure that's a good thing - but we'll see. (Note to self: put bike on trainer as soon as you arrive back in Oregon. This may be the 1st trip to Mexico in which I gain weight. I blame turning 40, personally, 'cause I'm walking my butt off down here - or so I'd think...)

Guardedly optimistic that it's nothing serious with the kid's tummy. I've been really conservative about what he's had to eat or drink - and myself, too. (See above about 1st trip here to gain weight. No street food for me this time.) Vamos a ver...

I did write a long, philosophical muse about sabbatical, corporate existence, and surfing - but it may too navel-contemplative even for me. I'll take the kid's dyspepsia as a sign to let it sit overnight & see if it's worth passing on by the light of day.

Might be new photos on the Picasa album - might not. Depends on how much time I take online... if not tonight, then tomorrow morning.

Peace out.

Language - by any means necessary...

2008-07-24T08:44:00.001-07:00

We're in the hotel dining room. I'm making bus reservations for our trip to Guadalajara on Saturday - I do need to check in at work on Monday, and we'll probably hit the zoo on Tuesday before heading back to el D.F. on Wednesday.

The kid - Nintendo-free at the moment, pending attitude and behavioral adjustments - has been granted a special dispensation to play the one game that's on my borg-issued crackberry - "Brickbreaker". "Mom, does "lento" mean "slow"?

Hey, I'll take it. Except even playing this stupid little game is ratcheting up his aggression - he's arguing with the phone - so its use may be short-lived as well. At least he's picking up vocabulary, though.

Think it's time to head upstairs, charge the phone for a bit, and head out to the Templo Mayor.

More photos are posted at the Picasa Web Album - this one is *not* linked to the slideshow at the bottom of this page, because it has a couple kid photos in it. I'll probably remove this link in a few days, too - but go ahead and check it out for now.

Hasta luego!

So appropriate somehow...

2008-07-23T21:21:00.000-07:00

A disclaimer: I am a Catholic. Practicing, even. Ridiculously Catholic, some might say. OK, they do say it. S'ok. If the scapular fits...

So to someone who's "ridiculously Catholic", what could be more sacred than a trip to the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe than a lively pilgrimage of approximately 2000 ... clowns?!?!?

My first visit to the Basilica was itself part of a pilgrimage - people from two parishes coming together to spend a week in Mexico City, kicked off with Mass at the Basilica concelebrated by three priests who had served at one or both of the parishes over the past few years. It was an amazing day, an amazing event, one that changed my life in so many ways, including some I probably won't fully grasp for years to come. I was looking at photos from that visit tonight, and felt so grateful - so very, very grateful - for that trip, that Mass, this sacred place.

But today, my 8th or 9th or so visit to a site that's so holy, so precious to me - it was somehow appropriate to encounter the clowns. I never quite figured out where they were from, although it was clearly planned - they occupied the space reserved for pilgrims who have reserved a Mass, and even the Lector was in costume. (Hold the cracks about the presider, ok? I've heard 'em all already...)

Right now, to be a believing and practicing Catholic, I think one might need to be a bit nutty, a bit tolerant of insanity, and a bit willing to see beyond various masks, piles of make-up, and even a fake rubber nose here and there to find the Child of God beneath the artifice. One has to step back and not take this 'life' thing too seriously, and certainly not this 'Church' thing. After all, from what I remember the nuns teaching me as a kid, Jesus wandered around looking very foolish himself, saying stuff like "love your enemies" and talking about God keeping an eye on sparrows, so hey, why worry about ourselves? Craziness, right?

As I often say, I've yet to encounter anything in the gospels that indicate that Christ came to earth in order to bring us religion couched in the most vast bureaucracy and rigid rhetoric known to humanity. Maybe that's in the later books, the ones we get to read after we master that "learn to be loved by God, and share God's love freely with one another" part. I still struggle mightily with that first assignment, so I'll likely never get to the part that's more serious, that's not able to laugh at itself. That's OK. My faith can handle a few clowns. Indeed, perhaps they're precisely what the Church needs right now.

When I rode the moving walkway underneath the Image of Guadalupe today, I looked up, and although I've gazed upon her face dozens of times here, she seemed to be smiling at the scene before her, especially the crowd of pilgrims in funny shoes and facepaint. We are all loved, silliness and masks we hide behind and all. She knows us, she sees us, she loves us, and is is good. So very, very good.

Museo y Pesero y Metro, oh my!

2008-07-22T21:26:00.000-07:00

6.5 horas. That's how long the Kid & I spent at the Museo Nacional de Antropología today. If the best way to learn a language is via immersion, today was a day to let him 'learn' rudimentary lessons in "el D.F." - gently, but yeah - in full-body immersion.

We began with breakfast - gratis at the hotel, a little feature which almost makes up for the lack of Internet access. Except they charged me anyway. Oh well. Then a walk down Cinco de Mayo, past Belles Artes, through the Alameda, and over to Paseo de la Reforma. From there, we took a pesero to Chapultepec Park. A definition I found for "pesero" today - "Pequeño autobús que no cumple con ninguna regla de seguridad." Well, yo no cumplo con ninguna regla de seguridad también. Or something like that.

Peseros are probably among the best artifacts to explain - to the degree that such an explanation is even possible - why I so love this place, but that's probably best saved for another post. We found ourselves on Reforma at Juarez - my favorite intersection - pointing at the street to signal the rattling steel deathtrap on wheels to shudder to a halting stop, receive our 3.5 pesos apiece (about $.30), and carry on toward what we hoped would not be our final destination.

The visit to the museum ... well, for the first time in four visits in the past year, I went through all of the rooms. The Kid insisted on it. We also have upwards of 500 digital photos to process. A couple of times I caught myself pleading with him to slow down, to take the time to study what he was photographing. Of course, each time I made the plea, he stopped and asked me to translate the descriptions of the artifacts. Had we kept that up, we'd still be there tonight. There's a lot of artifacts in that museum... lots. The descriptions aren't exactly brief, either.

Another pesero careened us back to El Angel de la Independencia - didn't brave traffic to cross over to see her today, but did note the relative accessibility of the monument compared to the US' Statue of Liberty. We continued on into the Zona Rosa, stopping at Cafebraria el Pendulo for a light dinner. That little bookstore/coffeehouse/restaurant is a close second - after the Basilica de Guadalupe - on my list of favorite places in Mexico City. The Kid enjoyed it as well, and added it to the list of places to visit again before we leave town this weekend.

Our trip back - el Metro! Since the Kid's just 10, we were able to get on one of the "Mujeres y Niños" cars from Insurgentes to Pino Suarez; Pino Suarez to Zocalo had no gender-segregated cars, but wasn't nearly as crowded, either. Having heard all sorts of stories about the Metro, I think he was a bit underwhelmed all in all, other than being impressed by the price - two pesos ($.18, maybe?) per passenger - to go anywhere on the system - anywhere at all.

So now we're back at the hotel. He watched an episode of Pokemon in Spanish (his gratitude will be duly conveyed to the Teacher when next they meet), I checked email & paid a few bills from the hotel lobby. Doing some photo cleanup now, and writing this post in TextEdit, so when I make a pilgrimage downstairs later tonight it'll be quick to post.

I don't think he quite gets it why this place is so important to me, but then again, he looked at me perplexed at lunch today and said "You really can speak Spanish when you want to, can't you." Um... well, yeah. Baby steps. Tomorrow - more immersion, more español, more Metro, and another pesero too, maybe. Today - today is enough for today.

Beginning Day Two

2008-07-22T07:29:00.000-07:00

The Teacher called late last night to check in. He gently urged me to reconsider my anti-Pokemon stance with regard to the Kid, at least while we're here. "If he's watching something he's interested in, he will pick up the language more easily." Have I mentioned that the Teacher teaches ... well... Spanish? OK. Point well taken.

I heard back from work people, too - looks like I'll be in the office in Guadalajara next week for a day or two. It'll be interesting - I don't have my laptop, don't have the wellspring of all information about the work they're doing, and have very few resources accessible to help them out - but I do have knowledge and experience, and a really, really strong desire to see these guys succeed at what they're taking on. Kid will likely go to the office with me, which may be an oddity for them - I don't think kids visit work all that often down here - but will be pretty ho-hum for he who first visited the cubicle farm when he was about five days old.

The hotel lacks adequate Internet access, but does have free breakfast, so we're availing ourselves of that now. Off to the Museum of Anthropology later.

Day One in el DF

2008-07-21T20:52:00.000-07:00

One day down. Exhausted & heading to bed pretty soon. Just realizing all of the complexity of bringing the child whom I so adore into the city that feels like it's worked its way into my bones. I did nap today, eventually, and it wasn't just the sleep of one who insanely opted to take a redeye with a child, but it was the peaceful dozing of one who finds such comfort in this utterly insane place. And then I woke up to a kid engrossed in Nintendo, and had to figure out a plan to move past that.

It's sort of surreal being back here now. Ten days ago, I was with the Student, wandering around, pretty much open for whatever might come. Now I'm with a kid who speaks no Spanish. I've probably spoken more Spanish in the past 24 hours than I did in any 48-hour period during the 3.5 weeks I was in the country before. It's fun seeing things through the kid's eyes, but also hard to try to translate it all. Everything.

So I'm trying to introduce these two loves to one another. The child was thrilled to find Spanish-language Pokemon on the Cartoon Network in the hotel room. Not so excited about tortas, and even the hamburger he had at the torta place didn't meet his standards. On the other hand, the soup and pasta at Sanborn's - "I'd rate it a 9.5." He's making very halting attempts to use the few Spanish words he's picked up in school, and was fascinated to skim textbooks used in primary schools here and realize that, in general, kids are expected to work much, much harder than he's had to do to date.

Tomorrow's probably going to be the Museum of Anthropology and the Angel of Independence. Maybe we'll add a trip into the Zona Rosa, depending on how time and energy levels go. Tomorrow night we'll see "WALL-E", which was originally on tonight's agenda, but neither of us were sure we'd stay awake in a dark theater. The Basilica of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe will be on Wednesday... and then there's Thursday and Friday to figure out. We'll probably head west on Saturday - maybe Queretaro, but most likely just to Guadalajara, so I can stick my head in the office there for a few days.

But that's all later. Not now. Now - heading back up to the room to crawl into bed and sleep. I sleep here. And it is good...

Sleep deprivation

2008-07-21T14:05:00.000-07:00

(Written earlier at a painfully early hour...)

It's 7:33am in Guadalajara, which is 5:33am in Portland. The familiar red-eye was exhausting this time. Maybe turning 40 pushed me past a milestone that should've signaled that I'm too damn old to be taking red-eyes now. Or maybe it was taking the red-eye with a ten year old who wanted to sleep but never could get comfortable that, in retrospect, was ill-advised.

No matter, I guess - Mexicana is pulling out of the Portland market in September. An employee in Portland told me last night that there's a campaign to save the two daily flights, but I'm not holding out much hope for success there.

Anyway - coffee in hand, writing in TextEdit because the wifi in the Guadalajara airport is down. Child's tired, but entertained with a Pokemon somethingorother on his gameboy. Disinclined to argue since, hey, neither of us have slept in about 23 hours, and a content kid is a happy mom.

American Mommy in Mexico wrote this week about her kids' discovery of the joys of playing with clothespins. I can dream that over the course of these next few weeks, Nintendo will be replaced by a curiosity about this culture into which we've landed. I can hope that he'll see Mexico, but maybe it's more realistic to hope that this little trip will pique his interest and help with the discussions to come about spending a year down here in the not too distant future.

Those discussions can wait, though. Too sleepy now to think about much beyond getting back into el DF, getting to the hotel, and face-planting on the bed.

Mea culpa, mea culpa...

2008-07-19T18:13:00.000-07:00

Mea maxima culpa...

Short form:

Guadalajara

Tlaquepaque

Queretaro. Spent my 40th b-day there, and with the exception of the absence of one kidlet whom I so adore, it was one of my best birthdays in ages. Spent some time in the morning wandering around the beautiful Centro Historico, up Cinco de Mayo and down Libertad, and exploring. Lunch at a fabulous Indian restaurant (!), and then an amazing dinner with various surprises from The Student, who plotted at length, it seems, to pull it all off. Queretaro is stunning. Trying to figure out how to wedge at least 1-2 days there into the next bit of the trip.

Mexico City - again. July 10-11, a bittersweet time. We left late on the 11th, and it also meant the end of three really great weeks traveling with someone who's like a brother to me, time we'll not easily be able to pull off again for a loooooong time - if ever.

And so I'm back in Puddletown now. Kid's hanging with my folks for a bit while I pack. We leave tomorrow to fly back to Mexico City. We're in Mexico for two weeks, then will take a quick trip to Chicago (long story), fly back to Mexico for one more week, and then will be back in Oregon on the 14th. I'll be back in the office on the 19th or 20th, I suppose. Financially, it's what needs to be, and with the economy the way it is right now, turning up my nose at my all-in-all very good job would be sheer lunacy.

But I'm fantasizing about next year. About taking 6-9 months, selling the house, packing up the kidlet, and heading south. He's intrigued by the idea. I'm dreaming...

First, though - packing, and getting ourselves there tomorrow. One day at a time, right? (Patience has never been my strong suit...)

With any luck, blog updates will happen a bit more often. Can't go out at night nearly as much with a 10 y/o kid as I can with a 31 y/o grad student! To be continued...

Next - Queretaro! (Yes, again.)

2008-07-07T21:05:00.000-07:00

First - my apologies for the lack of photos here. I'm posting on Facebook - this link should get you to a public album with some Mexico City shots.

There's only one thing I miss about my Windoze-based Stinkpad over my MacBook Air - the Picasa interface to Blogger. Trying to use Blogger to upload photos has been a PITA at best, and mostly hasn't worked at all. Will probably just source images from my Picasa web album, but don't have enough battery life to do that right now.

Anyway - in Guadalajara tonight. The Teacher (who was a friend visiting from the States) has returned home. The Student is off in another town an hour or so away visiting other friends. The Kid should be home in Oregon by now after two weeks with the paternal grandparents. As for me, I'm sitting in the hotel lobby - the only place with working wifi - uploading photos and catching up on email, as well as planning Part Deux of this sabbatical. (More Mexico, a bit of San Jose, a little blip of Chicago...)

Heading up to the room to pack soon and prepare for tomorrow. I'll take a bus around noon to Queretaro, where I'll spend Tues/Wed nights - yes, including my 40th birthday on Wednesday! Student will take a bus from where he's spending tonight and will arrive tomorrow late afternoon as well. No real plans, just a few more leisurely days before heading back to the States on Friday.

Really loving just wandering around Plaza Tapatia here in Guadalajara today - a coupel hours this morning, then more earlier this evening. This is where I first fell in love with Mexico, and you always remember that first hint of love, even as time passes and love changes, grows, deepens...

It's raining - we had a great thunderstorm earlier today, just light showers now, cooling off the hot city. It'll be good to head back east, where it's a little cooler than it is over here.

OK. Rambling. Must be bedtime. Go check out the Facebook photos from above. (I don't think you need to be on Facebook to see them, just to comment.)

(Randomness from yesterday)

2008-07-06T06:41:00.000-07:00

Wherein your author finds herself On The Bus

"On the Bus" is, of course, an euphemism for being 'familia', a "friend of Dorothy", queer, gay - something that's amused me greatly these past couple of weeks. It's felt like I've been "on the bus" way more than off it some days. Today - the 7-hour trip from Mexico City to Guadalajara. This, just four days after returning from Queretaro and Celaya, and only three short days before taking a bus back to Queretaro, and then taking another bus from Queretaro back to Mexico City.

On the one hand, I want to stay parked in one place when I bring the kid back in a few weeks. On the other hand, there's just so much to see in this phenomenally beautiful country, and the buses are safe, inexpensive, and a great way to get from place to place to place to place. So very many places, so little time.

I've been a bad blogger the past couple of weeks, owing more to spotty ideas about what to write than spotty Internet access, I'm afraid. I s'pose I can dig through photos and write up a few chronicles of high points of the previous days, but I've been more preoccupied with some of the thoughts that kick in when one finally takes enough time away from the pressure cooker of the borg to just breathe.

Such as: Is this (work) how I'm to be spending the precious moments of my life?

Don't get me wrong. My job (at least as I left it a few weeks ago; heaven only knows what reorgs have taken place or are planned to come - and the one I do know about isn't exactly a source of comfort) - it just rocks. Love it, feel challenged by it, learn a huge amount from it - and the pay's not exactly an insult, either. But - it's all starting to feel like a treadmill, a little less like life, a little more like being a cog in a handful of wheels - work, church, school - with next to nothing left over to even just be with the kid and explore this vast world.

If I go back to a job that's not markedly different from the one I left, or if one of the proposed little pilots out there managed to get some feet in my absence, maybe it's workable for a bit longer. Maybe even 5.5 more years - time remaining 'til my next sabbatical's available.

All things I think about on seven-hour trips across Mexico. My friends on the bus are curled up asleep in their seats, unable to offer any distraction, and as my mind settles into this 'sabbatical' mode, thoughts that are otherwise buried under day-to-day getting through wakeup/kiduniform/schoolattendance/workcommute/meeting/meeting/meeting/meeting/lunchincubiclemeeting/meeting/meeting/commute/kidpickup/homework/dinner/bedtime/workemailcatchup/collapse - lather, rinse, repeat - come to the forefront.

But we're just 15 minutes out of Guadalajara now, my traveling companions will awaken soon, and I can rest again in the more peaceful, mundane question of how to spend the next few hours, and let the next 20 years take care of themselves.

Plan, plan... what is plan?

2008-06-30T21:18:00.000-07:00

Before I left on sabbatical, some colleagues were teasing me about the lack of much of a plan that I have for these eight or so weeks. Now - admittedly, there's some family stuff going on that's causing me to hesitate to cast it all in stone, but even without that as a factor, these past two weeks have already been a lesson in how little control we mere humans truly have, and an adventure in living in the moment.

Still in Queretaro. The plan for today was for the Student to go to an archive here, and for me to visit the art museum (a former convent) and a regional cultural museum, and then to do a little shopping for folks who've asked me to bring stuff back besides Guadalupe souvenirs, Catholic kitsch, or pharmaceuticals.

But upon arrival at the archive, the Student learned that it was closed for the week. OK - on to Plan B, an archive in Ceyala, a city about 60km or so away, mas o menos. (I will learn to do accents, truly I will.) Took a taxi from the zocalo in Queretaro to the bus station and hopped the first bus to Ceyala. And in Ceyala - the archive was unexpectedly closed - the one person who controlled access had taken the day off.

And so it goes.

Two weeks ago, I think my borg-brain would've still been in overdrive, trying to construct some sort of solution to it all. Instead, we had lunch in Ceyala and then caught a bus back to Queretaro, where I proceeded to wander over to a local mall to check things out (and picked up a CD). Lazy evening in the hotel, complete with room service and watching a movie the Student had brought along.

Tomorrow - back to el DF - Mexico City. Or such is the plan for now. Another friend is headed into town on Wednesday, and because of his tight schedule, I think we'll probably have some semblance of structure from Wednesday through Sunday. All bets are off from Sunday 'til the flight home on the 11th, though. Might be back in Queretaro, might be in Guadalajara, and a new name came up today - Guanajuato. That could happen, too. That's next week, though. For now, this week is enough.

Or even this evening.

For those keeping track at home, we've been on three bus lines now:

ETN - the elegant "executive" service. So smooth of a ride it's not even real - floating around enough to make Dramamine a good travel accompaniment.

Primera Plus - nearly as elegant as ETN, same weird floating feeling, just a little less space per seat.

Flecha Amarilla - which I've only just learned this instant owns Primera Plus. That explains why, when we went to the Primera Plus counter in Ceyala to get tickets back to Queretaro today, we ended up on a Flecha Amarilla bus. Much less elegant, no bathrooms, but the sensation of being on a sailboat was absent, too.

Going to check out ETN schedules for our trip back to el DF tomorrow. Still a few posts behind, but hope to catch up soon.

Thunderstorms in Queretaro

2008-06-29T19:38:00.000-07:00

Dear God, how I love thunderstorms...

Internet connection is spotty; there's a huge thunderstorm over Queretaro right now, Santiago de Queretaro, to be precise. (And no, I'm not sure how to make the accents with the Mac; if I figure it out, I'll come back and correct this post.)

I'm about five days overdue for updating this thing - lots to tell about Zamora, about La Marcha del Orguello de el DF (LGBT Pride) yesterday - 200,000 people in attendance according to the official report, which means it can be off by an order of magnitude here or there. Might write more tomorrow; for now, I think I'm just going to listen to the rain and the thunder and lightning, and be very much at peace.

Zamora, Michoacan

2008-06-25T21:02:00.000-07:00

This'll be a short post, sin fotos (without pictures). Both my laptop battery & camera batteries are on their last little bits of power, but I thought I'd check in.

We took a 6.5 hour bus trip to Zamora, a little town in Michoacan. The Student has a meeting with a professor tomorrow, and I'm going to wander around town, checking out the place. Right now I'm sitting poolside at the hotel, listening to the crickets, and enjoying an utterly perfect evening. It's maybe 65 degrees, 50% humidity ... bliss.

Once the laptop & camera are resurrected, I'll post a few more photos to the Picasaweb page; if you click the link a post or two down, you'll get the latest (there's maybe 48 photos there now). Already found things to check out in Zamora - just not tonight.

Feeling grateful for so very much tonight - to the borg for that 'sabbatical' thing, to my family for encouraging me to make this trip, to everyone who's helping out with the Kid (who is in Georgia tonight - first night of two weeks!), to the Student for asking me to come along on this part of his research. (Somehow I don't think Zamora would've been on my short list of places to visit otherwise; I didn't even know it existed!)

More tomorrow, 'night for now. Listenin' to the crickets.

The Revolution May Not Be Televised...

2008-06-22T23:24:00.000-07:00

...but the Sabbatical Will Be Blogged - And Photographed.

Finally managed to get the Picasa Web Album doohickey figured out. There's a slideshow of the first 14 images (not yet tagged) floating at the bottom of the page - or you can simply go to the public album at your leisure.

And with that, this geekgrrrl's gonna get some rest. Hasta luego.

But first...

2008-06-22T21:45:00.001-07:00

Before last night's hellish hotel experience (OK, it was pretty funny), I had the extraordinary privilege and joy of attending the Mexico City production of Eve Ensler's fabulous theatrical experience, the "V Monologues". (No, I've not developed a sudden twinge of prudishness; I know of a few folks following my rambling musings who would find the full text extremely NSFW.)

I've not seen the US production, although I've read a bit of the text, and thought I knew what to expect. I was surprised by how deeply moved I was by the experience, and that was even given that I only understood 50-60% of the rapid colloquial Spanish with which it was presented. Some of it transcended any language barriers, though, such as the quite convincing rendition of los gritos ("las gritas"?!?) during the latter portion of the show. The production's hot, steamy, serious, challenging, devastating, joyous, shattering, and an utterly amazing reflection of the joys of being a woman. I can't recommend it highly enough, and may go back to see it again here before the summer's through.

The production is in a little hotel in the Zona Rosa ("Pink Zone"), the LGBT part of town. There's daily showings, and I was surprised to see that well over 150 people - mostly women, but some intrepid men as well - were in attendance. The three women who presented the 'monologues' were very different, yet the joy and emotion they brought to the storytelling was so consistent, and so incredibly profound.

There's a post I've yet to write and can't quite figure out how to frame yet, although I think I'll situate it in the context of the Mexico City Metro (subway). Being una mujer in el DF is qualitatively something unlike anything I've experienced. The Metro has certain hours when only women and children can ride in certain cars. There's buses along Paseo de la Reforma during rush hour that are reserved for women only.

An analysis of women on public transport in Mexico City isn't inconsistent at all with a theater review of the "V Monologues" - just not sure where to take it yet. Suffice it to say that if you've not seen the production, get thee to the nearest one. And if the nearest one is in el DF, let me know. I'll go again.

The Metro - that's another post, for another day. Maybe this day, since it's past midnight now in el DF, but we'll see.

Livin' it up at the Hotel California

2008-06-22T21:05:00.000-07:00

I kid you not - that song was blaring at about 12:30am this morning from a bar across the street from the Hotel San Francisco, the latest stop on our hotel tour of Mexico. After four days at one place with no working phones and marginal at best Internet, we picked the next stop based on location - near the Alameda and just a couple blocks from the previous place - and a few reviews.

The first clue that things were amiss was their inability to find the prepaid reservation. No matter - they gave us rooms anyway. My room had a large metal "X" blocking the window. Fellow borg-dwellers will recognize the feature - it's earthquake-proofing. The beds were conveniently pre-indented by all of the bodies who've slept (or not) on them over the past 40 years. They promised wireless Internet and gave us a code; when no signal was picked up, they shrugged - no problem. No Internet. The phone in the rooms worked, and as promised, phonecard calls were allowed - but were double-charged. Using the phonecard would result in the same two-dollar per minute rate as a direct dial call - as well as depleting the phonecard.

Nothing, though, compared to the band playing loud 1980s/1990s rock at an ear-splitting volume just across the street. Did I mention that the street was a sound corridor? The hotel was tall, and a new building was being built across the narrow street - a wall of uninterrupted concrete. Made a perfect echo chamber and amplified the noise quite nicely.

I'll skip the other details - the 70 or so teenagers - mostly from the US - who seemed to have the run of the place, without chaperones. Or the 50 or so ten year olds who were running around the lobby. Oh, and then there was the matter of not one but both elevators going out at about midnight, one crammed full of teenagers.

The Student wandered out just before midnight (he took the stairs) to make a phone call from a Telcel phone on the street. I camped out in my room and tried to read, but it would've been like reading at Satyricon or the Pine Street back in the day. So instead, I sat in the groove in the bed and sang along. I also decided that four-day reservations be damned, we were getting out of there today.

And so we did, packing up and checking out this morning. The rooms were prepaid, and I'll take that up with the online agency tomorrow. (The hotel lied about the availability of some services, so I'm prepared to put on my pushy lawyer hat with the travel company to get at least some of the money coughed up.) By 11am, we'd found another hotel and proved the song wrong. They may check us out any time they like - but at least we were able to leave.

We're now ensconced in a place where the Student stayed several years ago, conveniently located to the Zocalo and Cathedral, lovely rooms, nice staff, great rooftop courtyard, absence of Eagles, Radiohead, Nirvana, and other covers. Oh - and the elevators work. Bonus. I think I'll sleep tonight.

Up for a bit still - maybe I'll get some photos posted. Still trying to figure out photo resizing on the Mac. Oy vey.

Moving Day

2008-06-21T08:39:00.000-07:00

OK, not really. Moving from one hotel to another that's about 2.5 blocks away. The first hotel was booked from the US for four days; now that it's clear that we'll be in el DF for another four days, we're heading to a hotel just slightly better-located, with the added benefit of allowing long-distance phonecard calls from the hotel room.

Not a whole lot else to report. I'm trying to figure out how to use iPhoto to manipulate photos so I can post them easily, but haven't sorted that out yet. Picasa doesn't seem to work on OSX, but a friend said yesterday that she was pretty sure it'd work somehow, so that may be a task for later today. We'll see.

El DF is ... el DF. Nothing quite like it. I'm still in love with this place of 20-30 millionish people. I'm remembering my conversation from last summer with an expat who'd been here something like 40 years - "Nobody really knows how many people live in Mexico City; if the government really counted them, they'd have to provide services for them all, so it's best for them to remain vague about exact numbers." Sobering thought - and yet also curiously compelling. It's a good place to detox from the inflated sense of importance that working at the borg can bring. 30 million people here just don't give a damn. ;)

The photo above is from an outdoor Dali sculpture exhibition that's about a kilometer from the hotel where we've been staying. I'm hoping to get to the rest of the exhibition at a nearby musuem before we leave town next week.

And no, I don't know where the next stop is - not yet. Maybe Queretaro?

Did I say something about Mexico?

2008-06-19T11:29:00.000-07:00

Mexico City. Two days in, and I'm just now beginning to exhale, to settle into my own skin again in a way that I only really feel when I'm here. My earlier posts about "have a nervous breakdown" as an item on my to-do list before the trip were telling; thankfully, that's one of many tasks that I didn't manage to accomplish before leaving.

The hotel we're staying in for a few days has spotty Internet access, so my idea of blogging daily (at least) may not be met. Crackberry's functioning just fine, though, so I can at least get email at my gmail address as needed. But two days immersed in Mexico, and I'm already asking myself why I bothered to have any sort of "goal". It's enough to breathe, and the breathing's blessedly good down here.

A couple notes for the casual reader. The Kid is still up in Portland, hanging with his dad, dad's SO, and dog. He'll travel to visit his paternal grandparents in a week, freshly-equipped with his first cellphone and email. Should you be of the sort who might know him and wish to drop him a note or call, let me know & I'll give you the info.

I'm traveling for a few weeks now with one who'll be tagged "the Student" - a close friend working on a PhD in Latin American History. Such a providential arrangement - I don't know that I'd think to travel to some of the places where he needs to go to check out archives; I don't know that he'd necessarily be able to do as much of that travel without the flexibility that having someone around who's not living on a student budget can provide. Works well - I'll be seeing some parts of Mexico that I'd not likely encounter on my own - ever.

But for now - our second day in my favorite city, one I not only would find on my own, but in which I spent eight days in December, solely because Mexicana had a fare sale and the ticket was too cheap to pass up. It's sooooooo good to be back.

Yesterday was surreal, as I kept asking myself and the Student - "Are we really in Mexico?" It was a day with few plans. The Student had a couple things to take care of at the Basilica, so we trekked over there, said hi to Nuestra Madre, and just reveled in the peace of being present there. I had a bit of business to do for someone from the Kid's school - so we did that too. We closed the evening wandering around the Zona Rosa ("Pink Zone"), dinner and being among familia. Not bad at all.

Today the Student is doing studenty things - meeting with a professor here, checking out a library there. I took the Metro with him out to his first appointment, and in the course of trying to find the building where he was to go, we tripped over a few librarios - bookstores. And so I find myself in one of those now. I'm always struck by the depth and breadth of the works that appear not just in Mexican bookstores, but even in the piles of books sold by street vendors. No less notable is the literacy - cultural and otherwise - that's just an assumed trait of the educated classes here. Of course, the class divisions are significant, and I'm acutely aware of the privilege I'm accorded as a gringa running around town. Lots to think about every time I'm here, and now I have time - nothing but time - to think.

Will probably hang out here for another hour or so - get an editing job done that's way overdue, and then venture back to the Metro to pick the next destination for the day.

Countdown

2008-06-16T08:32:00.000-07:00

Up since 5:15, looking at the time now and realizing that in 12 hours, I'll be boarding a plane to SJ. Am I ready? Ha.

Print boarding passes for tonight's flight as well as tomorrow's trip to Mexico.
Need hotel reservation for tonight (thought about sleeping at the SJ airport, but I don't want to be a zombie tomorrow).
Need to go to the Kid's school - he forgot his cellphone on Friday, and we found a library book to turn in.
Need to go to the credit union and cash a check - doing some administrative work to help out a little church tour group that's going to Mexico in August, and have to buy tickets with cash.
Powell's. Fluffy airplane reading.
Visit my folks - Dad's b-day, help Mom with a couple of quick things.
Finish ripping a few of my CDs that I want to have on my laptop/iPod on the trip.
Make a couple of quick lists - one for the guys about kidstuff for the next week, and one for the friend who's crashing at my house for a few weeks.
Call the contractor who's doing the fireplace tile work while I'm out.
Bunch of work email to send out, as well as setting up "out-of-office" message.
Finish corporate required training for 2008; my manager will be pleased.
Change work network password so I can get back on the network after sabbatical.

I'm sure there's more, but that's a start. Kid, however, is packed, and I'm mostly packed, too. Feels like I'm more ready than not, which is a pretty good feeling, all in all - but I know it'll get crazier as the day goes on. Ah well. It's as much inertia as anything now, I think.

I Have Left the Building

2008-06-14T10:49:00.000-07:00

Me and Elvis, that is. I'm outta there, and as the sign indicates, I'm going to avoid all those "disturbing office personnel" for the next nine weeks or so. (And yeah, I'm sure there's some that muttered "good riddance" under their breath as I headed for the door.) I have a handful of emails to sling forth today, a couple of quick meetings to call into on Monday, and then on Monday evening I'll jump aboard a plane and leave town.

It was a strange feeling to walk out the door after 8.5 years. I left with a colleague, the person who's covering for me while I'm out, and who I'm partly covering upon my return, when he'll have just left on his own sabbatical. I'm not sure I'd have made it out of the building had he not reminded me that we were due for a going-away lunch for three of us headed out for the summer. I was cleaning my desk, rearranging papers, double-checking expense report submissions - anything to avoid facing the reality of being done - having no real role there for the next several weeks.

Monday evening I'll hand this laptop over to a friend and fellow employee at the borg. She'll keep it safe while I'm out, and more important, it'll keep me from being able to check work email, scan the intranet, or otherwise keep a finger on the place that's been such a pervasive part of my existence since just before the kid turned two. My crackberry will still be getting mail, but I think I've figured out how to hide the icon that tells me it's there and lets me access it, so I'll give that a shot on Monday.

And so it goes. Today I'm packing, cleaning, and heading over to my parents' to celebrate Father's Day and my dad's birthday. I'll probably drop by their place again on Monday before I leave town - but then I'm gone. Kid will be with his dad & dad's SO, cats will be with my aunt and uncle ...

I just can't imagine it right now. Still feels pretty freaking unreal. Just like Elvis' death.

One More Week

2008-06-09T22:55:00.000-07:00

There's a lot to do in this last week. Perhaps "have a nervous breakdown" is on the list somewhere - and that item will be anywhere it damn well pleases on the list, I guess. Today - well, today it feels like it's headed to the top of the list. Tomorrow's another day, one that promises to be even more stressful. Then - well, then things should settle out a bit. Oh wait, no they don't. I have a work trip to go on still. Ugh.

But in one week - from this very moment - I should be headed to the cheapest hotel I can find in San Jose, where I'll spend a fitful few hours not sleeping before heading to the airport to catch the flight to Mexico. Just trying to focus on that right now, and not let the rest of the stuff get to me. Not terribly successful with that, though.

One item on the list did get done - get the Kid a cellphone. McAuley's not at all sure about the phone. Not edible - so why is it here again?

T Minus Nineish Days

2008-06-07T22:02:00.000-07:00

Crap. Where did the time go?

In something like nine days, I'll be flying to California. Won't even be there twelve hours; the next morning I'm up and at the airport to catch my flight to Mexico City.

To say I'm exhausted & ready for this break would be the understatement of the year - or of 1.5 years, really, since I first was eligible for sabbatical. By day, everything I need to do before my trip seems manageable, but at 3am, the details swirl in my head and they're just overwhelming. For the first time in a long time, I'm letting the lull of the BBC radio announcers soothe me back to sleep, or at least distract me from the things that send me into a half-alert tailspin.

Visa card - where did I put it? Need it before the trip. Cancelling it will mean the new card arrives after I leave. (Reality: BofA issued replacement card today; I'll have it in 48 hours, no charge.)

Lawn - it's a disaster. When will I mow it? What will happen when I'm gone? (Reality: Still TBD. That'll be another 3am round...)

Money - how on earth am I going to afford this?!?!? (Reality: Oddly enough, traveling around Mexico for a month is not going to be vastly more expensive than simply living in Portland for that same time. Some expenses are more, others are way less. And I did budget for most of this - it'll be fine.

... and so on...

Kid is excited about heading off with his paternal grandparents, though, and is not too disturbed about my departure. Some angst, some moodiness, and I don't expect it to be easy, but he'll be fine. He's getting a cellphone too, which fascinates him.

Promise, subsequent posts will be less angst, more photos. Right now, I'm in the angsty phase, and I don't know where the USB cable is for my camera, anyway. Don't think Picasa exists for the Mac, either, so there's a new photo process to learn. Maybe I'll just reference it all from photobucket. Another topic to consider at 3am, I guess.

T Minus 52 days

2008-04-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

... and counting.

Sabbatical's coming up, and when I told someone at work today that it started in "about seven weeks", I was castigated for not knowing the exact day count. So I counted - and it's 52 days.

Plans are taking shape. I'll fly down solo for the first 3.5 weeks, then return to PDX, spend a couple days with family and friends, grab Kid Pax, and head back south. We'll spend about four more weeks in Mexico, heading home at the last possible minute in August, no doubt. Somewhere in there I'll spend a couple days at the borg, checking in with the guy who's covering me while I'm out. He leaves before I'm back, so we'll need to synch on things before he heads out.

My fantasy is to figure out how to work there for a semester or something, let the kid be an exchange student, etc... but for now, getting ready for the summer's probably enough.

As I was saying...

2008-02-16T16:12:00.000-08:00

I had this crazy idea of pulling together a blog to chronicle my upcoming sabbatical, which I intend to spend in Mexico. Kid Pax'll be with his dad & grandparents half the time (Oregon & Georgia, respectively), while I travel solo & with friends in Mexico. Then I'll wing up, grab him, and head back for another month.

And then I thought I needed to post some pictures and stories about Mexico - both my most recent trip (arrived home just before 1am today) and the three others I've taken in the past 18 months. Why Mexico? What about the country caused me to fall hopelessly, irrepressibly in love?

So why not start the story here? Well, for starters, I'm sick - not Mexico street food sick, but a cold (which may be the flu - I heard the vaccine wasn't all that great this year, and this feels far more like last year's real influenza than how colds usually run with me). Instead, I'll begin with the above photo of my dinner & where it was eaten on Thursday night. :)

More later.

May 30, eh...

2007-09-18T19:08:00.000-07:00

Last published then. Goodness me.

I was digging around an ancient blog (2002ish) the other day, looking for some stuff to send T. I ended up reading for a couple of hours, and was sort of amazed that the confused and angry soul back then is ... well, happy these days. Curious, that. Nice to see, especially this week, which is shaping up to be the entryway to a pretty ridiculously insane fall. Exhaustion's setting in already, which is Not Good.

'Twas also nice to see everything conveniently laid out in one location (which I'll link to from here eventually - and may port this back over there anyway - we'll see). Journaling has always been a pretty significant part of my ability to maintain focus, and any sort of coherent prayer life - but only when I've blogged have I managed to maintain a coherent journal.

So - we'll see how it goes.

Peace.

2007-05-30T21:42:00.000-07:00

(Sign courtesy of the Church Sign Generator.)

Peace. Elusive little bugger. It's been a crazy month as I really internalize this whole "sandwich generation" thing. Yeah - I'm dealing with financial and medical and legal things related to the 'rents on one side, juggling end-of-school-year and summer schedule plans on the other. Somewhere in the middle I'm supposed to stay employed, make sure the mortgage is paid on time, keep fresh groceries on hand, and oh - find peace.

I'm either doing a fairly passable job of it all, or I'm freakin' delusional. Whichever one, it's OK. Not writing nearly as much as I want or need to, but I'm getting in time in the garden every day or so. Taking that 'peace' thing wherever it can be found.

Jesse Helms

2007-05-10T19:02:00.000-07:00

The sex ed curriculum at Kid Pax's school is remarkably inclusive and diverse, all things considered. It's a little segment that's taught from grades 2-8 as part of their religion class, typically for just a few weeks over Easter. In 3rd grade it's mostly about community and family, and the book includes photos of Muslims at prayer, a synogogue, etc. - with quite favorable text. Matters of sex are gently tapped, and that's where we are tonight.

Homework typically involves a few questions for the parents to help out with, and thus far, I'm keeping the snark factor down. Today, though, I couldn't help myself.

One question was easy. "How much did I weigh when I was born?" Eight pounds, and that led to a really fun discussion about how he didn't really want to come out, how I spent a couple hours in the recovery room, and how the doctors gave me a choice - did I want his dad to stay with me and send him to the neonatal nursery, or did I want his dad to take him and leave me alone? Easy decision - Dad Pax took the kidlet, and I stayed in the recovery room alone.

Next question: "What did I look like when I was born?" In the car, on the way to New Seasons, and I quipped, "Jesse Helms".

And so the homework states now. "Jesse Helms". The photo here was printed out as well and taped into the little box on the homework sheet.

They know us and love us at that school. Good thing, too.

Compromise

2007-04-27T23:14:00.000-07:00

Some six years ago, I was on a team interviewing a candidate for a position at the high tech company where I work. Our "team" interviewing really consists of a series of 1:1 interviews, after which the exhausted candidate is sent on their way, and the team gets together to determine whether s/he passed muster.

The candidate was exquisitely skilled, with both the academic background and experience to make her attractive to the group. Oh - and she was a she - which in our male-dominated environment looks good for those diversity stats. I threw all sorts of questions at her, and she did marvelously. So then, ten minutes or so left in my hour, I threw the time open for her questions. Did she have any?

"Is it true that you have to take a class about arguments here?" Um... well, yes. I discussed the course with the interviewee, who looked rather perplexed, paranoid, and ... well, panicked.

Turns out that she'd asked all of us that question, and in our team session at the end of the day, we decided against making an offer. Didn't matter, because when we emerged from the room, she'd already called and left a message - not interested.

There's something about the corporate culture, about our ways of dealing with disputes, that just works for me. The first part of this week was just a bloody unpleasant mess. By yesterday, I'd managed to unpack enough of what was going on in my cranium to figure out what was up - the rest of the world hasn't taken that class. There's a concept called constructive confrontation - not quite what our corporate culture has engendered, but a variant thereof - which, when used with skill, can get to good resolutions of previously-intractable conflicts. It's a good practice, and although I'd be the first to say the company's not practicing it all that well these days, compared to unstructured conflict, it's not bad at all.

So - why 'compromise'? Well - what do you do when there's a conflict, and not everyone agrees on how it should be resolved? Well - you escalate - or you walk away. This week, I opted for the latter, but I'm still vaguely unsettled. I'm not sure it was the right thing to do. I don't know what the alternative would've been, though.

No real conclusion. I'm tired. It's been a long week. I'm feeling tremendously grateful for my job right now, and curiously, not primarily because of the bits they drop in my credit union account twice a month.

What Teachers Make

2007-04-24T20:14:00.000-07:00

I admit it. Today has been a hell of a day. Today began 38 hours ago, in fact - and some random issues at Kid Pax's school kept me awake all night, and it's generally been a thoroughly sucky day. The quote attributed to Kissinger (but undoubtedly not his own) has been echoing in my exhausted mind since 2am - "Academic politics are so vicious, precisely because the stakes are so very small".

On again & off again, I've been pondering whether to just bail - to spend my time and energy at my little parish, where the politics can fit in a thimble, and at work, where we have well-defined rules of engagement for arguments, including a mandatory class on how to confront with a vengeance. (Think "geek Fight Club, with words and powerpoint instead of fists. 'Tis a beautiful thing.)

And then, damn it, comes a little snippet of mail from a friend from the Street [Prophets], with the poetry slam of teacher Taylor Mali. So for three minutes I sat here bawling my eyes out, remembering why in the hell I care so much about this $#!+. Now - how will that affect how I deal with the current maelstrom? I don't know. I do know that walking away from it altogether is not an option. Not because anything I do there is really of note at all, no, but because there's 20 or so Taylor Malis there - and what they make matters more to me than just about anything on this funny little rock on which we live.

Kissinger was wrong, at least about the young'uns. The stakes are high - and so very precious.

(Warning - Probably not for most kids to see, although Kid Pax has seen it - nor those with delicate constitutions.)

My parish

2007-04-18T18:03:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me well know that if there's anyplace out there that's 'home' to my soul, my spirit - it's the Downtown Chapel - known as "my little parish" sometimes, or even affectionately as "Our Lady of the Bunker". It's a small, windowless building on a corner steeped in poverty, smelling of urine and cheap wine, and even splashed with blood on occasion.

The website's been up and running for a few years now, and really does a great job of talking about our little community, what we stand for, what matters, and the work done in Christ's name by the hospitality and pastoral staff there and dozens and dozens of volunteers. Now some of us from the community will be speaking through Faith from the Streets - the Downtown Chapel blog.

Check it out. Tell 'em I sent you. :)

Smart squirrels say...

2007-04-17T22:26:00.000-07:00

"Leave the freaking Microsoft software alone, and just go with Firefox already!"

OK, OK... mea culpa. I rant on and on about open source, and yet I've been too lazy to do anything with my work laptop besides deal with the standard build 'til now. Just installed Firefox - and wow. Just wow. It rocks.

A reboot fixed the nasty little IE script error. Biggest problem now will be dealing with the fact that most of the stuff I need to do for work requires IE - all our systems are part of the Microsoft conglomerate, and if I want to be able to get to various repositories and such, I'll need to use that inferior bit of software.

Oh - and about the squirrel. No relevance at all. Just a photo the kid took outside the bookstore at Notre Dame on Sunday morning. Happy squirrel.

Oy^2

2007-04-17T21:33:00.000-07:00

Debugging's a lot of fun - until it isn't fun anymore. For some reason, Picasa is being a pain in the butt tonight, kicking up IE script errors whenever I try to use the "Blog This!" option. No problem - I've been meaning to download and install Firefox on the work Stinkpad for some time now, and now's a good of a time as any.

Except even running Firefox, I'm still getting the blasted IE Script Errors.

I know, I know - get off the freakin' Stinkpad and use the iBook. I know. And besides, don't I have anything better to do tonight besides mess around with the blog software?

Evidently not.

Oy... busyness strikes

2007-04-17T18:03:00.000-07:00

I only mentioned this site to a few people; turns out more are reading than I thought.

Yes - the day of the last post was sucky. Things improved - and were a whirlwind of activity. Haven't had time to post and update. Working on the photo album now, and I'm also digging through ~1500 messages in my inbox at the borg.

We're back in Portland, yes. Life's good. More later.

The view from here

2007-04-12T20:59:00.000-07:00

The view from our hotel room - yes, that's "Touchdown Jesus" in the background on the Notre Dame library.

The view... partly cloudy. In a mood from hell. Kid is holding up reasonably well for nine; I think we both overestimated what he'd be able to take in here. After 2.5 days of running around with him, I was looking forward to having a grownup conversation, right about the time that he decided he was going to regress a few years. So - I'm trying to keep him from losing it entirely...

... and trying to keep from losing it entirely myself. Not doing too well with that one right now.

Tired, lonely, exhausted as hell and just wanting to be home, or at least to have another pair of(or dozen) hands to help with him. Missed a call from someone half an hour ago, which is probably for the best, since I'd likely be sobbing over the phone at this point if I talked to her, especially if I heard her little girls in the background. There's a lot of stuff ahead of us in these next few days, and I'm trying to find some semblance of balance so we manage to return home, sanity intact.

And yet...

And yet...

All of this is as it should be. It's what I signed up for - so many ways, so many times - and it's often through going through these times that I get to new insights. Right now I'm not seeing them, but that's OK. Maybe there's something to be learned from the juxtaposition of my tired loneliness with the decision that these four guys are making this weekend, what they are signing up for now.

Watch and pray.

And so it happens...

2007-04-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

... that the Kid and I find ourselves in O'Hare, Terminal 3, Baggage Claim area 6ish or so. The rest of the folks from his school & their parish will be flying in, landing in roughly an hour, and we're to meet them here to catch the bus for the two hour and change trip to South Bend.

And here we are. He with his Nintendo, me with the laptop & digital camera, Boingo wi-fi wafting through the airways, a signal my laptop snapped onto instantly, recognizing it from last month's trip through Minneapolis. No muss, no fuss - a two-minute point, click, upload, connect, post endeavor.

I have fond memories of O'Hare. In 1987 or so, a group of us from L&C went to a radical campus activists' gathering hosted by Rutgers in scenic Piscataway, NJ. I don't remember who made the reservations (Eli? Linda? Robert? Moi?) - but for whatever reason, we had an overnight layover here in the United terminal, the one with the music & light installation created by Philip Glass. We spent the night cruising up and down the moving pedestrian walkways, staring up at the lights, basking in the music.

This is not that trip. Nintendo bugs the crap out of me generally, and it's all I can do to not will the batteries to die. He'd be upset and bored, and ... well, we're not going on a flight today, so riding up and down the Philip Glass corridor isn't an option.

Instead, we've got the floor on which we sit, a Starbucks fifty or so feet away, and the Kid is singing along to the Nintendo game. I'm online, rambling incoherent about the ubiquitious nature of communication these days.

Chicago was good, but I've gotta admit - I'm really eager for the kid to be a few years older, so he can explore more of the things that I fell in love with in the city years ago. That is, if I can pry his fingers away from the glowing tinny box. Oy.

Mixed Blessings

2007-04-10T16:54:00.000-07:00

Traveling with the kid is always a bittersweet experience, and this trip is not any different. This is his second trip to Chicago as a sentient being, although he made no fewer than four incursionary visits to these windy streets before he was able to even say "Chicago". His first visit to the Art Institute was when he was a mere six months old, and at nine, he's a pro at finding his way around the Loop, getting a little more adept at remembering which transit system is the Metra train, the El, CTA buses, etc... he's getting it.

He has favorite exhibits in the Field Museum, can self-navigate around the Shedd Aquarium, and could do a credible job as a docent at either place at this point. He can discuss the "Evolving Planet" exhibit at the Field, including the sociocultural and scientific implications of evolution, human culpability for the Sixth Mass Extinction, and principles of natural selection.

But here's the thing. This stuff's all because he's floating in a veritable sea of privilege, a topic I've been considering a lot the past couple of days as a result of a discussion about homeschooling on Street Prophets. No, no - we're not homeschooling per se, the kid is still in his blessed little parochial school, zero plans to change that - but in some sense, he is "homeschooled". He learns a huge amount from the extracurricular experiences that he enjoys simply because of who he is, and who his grownups are. That includes the weekly shift at the soup kitchen, yes (four years and counting), but also the organic produce delivered weekly to our door, and the fairly regular trips to Chicago and Atlanta, plus random other trips to other cities (NYC, Toronto, Seattle) that he's made.

Catholic education talks about the parents as "primary educators" of our children; as schoolmarm for this kidlet, he gets to see my values with his laser-sharp vision. He can see what I say, but he can also see how he lives. I'm finding it challenging to reconcile the two right now.

Natural Habitat

2007-04-09T18:06:00.000-07:00

If this works, I'll be beyond impressed.

New camera - a Canon PowerShot A710IS. Took about five minutes to set up (three of which were opening the separately-purchased 2GB SD flash card), six seconds to take the photo, less than a minute to connect & upload via Picasa, and then I clicked the "Blog This" button - logged into Blogger with my gmail account - and if when I click "PUBLISH" at the bottom of this window, the photo and this text appear as laid out, I'll be beyond impressed.

(Of course, then the next question is how to add more than one photo from Picasa to the blog. Hm. First things first.)

In Chicago

2007-04-09T13:42:00.000-07:00

4:45 came way too early this morning. Our ride to the airport (no, no - it was not a limo!) arrived at 5:30 on the dot. Breakfast at the airport, and since then I've just had some Easter candy that our morning airport shuttle driver (a friend) gave us. Urgh.

It was amazing to realize as we rode into town that the Kid really does recognize parts of Chicago. He saw his favorite Tom Kah Gai (thai lemongrass/coconut soup) restaurant, and is debating whether he wants that or spaghetti tonight.

He's reading & relaxing. I'm going to shower, and then we'll venture out to get a digital camera to replace my deceased one (RIP), and to forage for food.

Oh, and because...

2007-04-08T21:21:00.000-07:00

This will also double as a training journal of sorts, a la Lanarkshire of years past, here's today's stats.

Rode 30.35 miles - Casa Tres to DTC, circled around through the Waterfront & over the Steel Bridge, then out the Esplanade to Springwater. Did hit the new segment off Umatilla connecting Sellwood to the Corridor - lovely new bridge and a very workable path - much better than the old kludgey pass through the back of the tennis center.

I'd intended to ride about 20 miles; then figured I'd shoot for 30, but didn't expect to make it. Had I prepped better, I could've hit 50 today, I think. The Broadway Bridge kicked my butt on the way back, but that was my fault - didn't plan well.

I'm doing a "Pinot Pedal" or something on 4/23 - will ride to church, then after mass will head up to the departure point. It's only 18 miles or so, but with the added trip to/from Casa Tres, I should work that into a ~30 mile day as well.

Trying to figure out if this will be a century year. It's starting to feel like it, regardless of what I think. Hmm...

The Itinerary

2007-04-08T21:07:00.000-07:00

The limo picks us up at 5:30am, and then will swing by the school to retrieve another traveler. We'll be plunked at the airport for a late 7ish flight to Chicago. Get in around 1ish, and will head to the hotel. No real plans for the rest of the day, other than to go to the kid's favorite spaghetti place, conveniently located 1.5 blocks from our hotel.

Tues, Wed - museums and such, TBD. May go see Wicked. (And I'll add links later, yes.)

Thursday morning we meet the flood of other travelers from out here at O'Hare, and will take a bus down to South Bend. Random events Thursday evening & Friday.

Saturday - Stephen's ordination. Sunday - Stephen's first mass. Back on the bus, then, and back to O'Hare for the trip home.

Tomorrow evening I'll edit this post; just checking out how multiple posts work, and also tagging.

Welcome to Casa Pax!

2007-04-08T20:51:00.000-07:00

Nice to see you here! This may well be a temporary landing site; playing around with Blogger a bit to see if it's the best choice for another blog I've been asked to generate. I have a stale (as in years) MT-based blog that suffered death by comment spam, but we'll see if this works.

Kid & I are headed off to Chicago in a mere... eek! - 8.5 hours! I'll play around with this site on this trip, prob'ly put some photos in and see how it all holds together. I'll also point the folks who've suggested that they need a blog over to play, and who knows? Perhaps there'll be a blogspawn within a few short days as well.

Peace to all - more from Chicago.