The view from here

   

The view from our hotel room - yes, that's "Touchdown Jesus" in the background on the Notre Dame library.

The view... partly cloudy. In a mood from hell. Kid is holding up reasonably well for nine; I think we both overestimated what he'd be able to take in here. After 2.5 days of running around with him, I was looking forward to having a grownup conversation, right about the time that he decided he was going to regress a few years. So - I'm trying to keep him from losing it entirely...

... and trying to keep from losing it entirely myself. Not doing too well with that one right now.

Tired, lonely, exhausted as hell and just wanting to be home, or at least to have another pair of(or dozen) hands to help with him. Missed a call from someone half an hour ago, which is probably for the best, since I'd likely be sobbing over the phone at this point if I talked to her, especially if I heard her little girls in the background. There's a lot of stuff ahead of us in these next few days, and I'm trying to find some semblance of balance so we manage to return home, sanity intact.

And yet...

And yet...

All of this is as it should be. It's what I signed up for - so many ways, so many times - and it's often through going through these times that I get to new insights. Right now I'm not seeing them, but that's OK. Maybe there's something to be learned from the juxtaposition of my tired loneliness with the decision that these four guys are making this weekend, what they are signing up for now.

Watch and pray.