Settling on being unsettled

School has started for the kidlet, and after four days' vacation, I'm back to the office on Monday. There's still boxes remaining to be unpacked, and furniture I need to acquire - you wouldn't know by seeing the place that I've been here nearly two months. I'm mindful that the lease is only for 12.5 months - by 07/2010, I have to have some idea of What Happens Next.

Meanwhile, back on the ranch... my dad is moving into my house in Portland. The interior's been repainted, he's transferred the utilities into his name, and by mid-September, he'll be in place. He's indicated that he plans to remain there for the rest of his life, and as he's off today to hike around Mt. St. Helens, that could be a pretty long tenure. (Note to Dad: the mortgage payoff date is in about 26 years.)

POR ("plan of record", for those not conversant with the Corporate Masters' lingo) is to return to Portland next July. For those who know the Corporate Masters(TM), you also know that "POR" is often a moving target at best. Three doohickeys, two widgets, and a half-sized thingamabob in April, targeted for release in November, can turn into five bits of stuff, a double-sized thingamabob, and all doohickeys delayed 'til the next release - which will be in June, following the October release of the first version. "POR" can be most ephemeral at times.

All of which is a long way of saying "I have no clue where we'll be in a year." Honestly - there's about a 25% chance it'll be Portland, 25% chance it'll be San Jose, 25% chance it'll be Mexico - maybe Guadalajara, maybe Mexico City - and then another 25% chance it'll be an undisclosed location, NOT with Dick Cheney, but for various reasons can't be discussed at this time. The kidlet's aware of the liminality of it all, and so far, appears to be doing well. As I commented to another mom of a strikingly similar son this morning, he spends a lot of time in his own world. He's got his cats, he's finally learning to use his cellphone to call family - friends to follow - and he's fascinated by the world around him. Keeping an eye on him closely through the transition, but so far, so good.

It's harder for me right now, not having something as simple as a chair in the living room. If I can get in touch with The Teacher(TM) (also known as "friend with pickup"), I may remedy that, and pick up a desk for the kid along the way. We've also joined the Y, and getting into a routine there would be a Good Thing as well. This may be but a waystation on a bigger journey - but isn't that life itself, after all? Might as well take a look around and get to know the place while we're here, however long that may be.

Next weekend I'll go on my first trip after moving here, heading to a conference on the other side of the US. Kiddo will stay here, and I'm busily making sure that primary caregivers and backup are settling into place. More travel will follow, including a trip or two to Mexico this fall - again, a bit of normalcy returning after the big jump south. It's a start.

And So It Is

 

I find myself in San Jose - or rather, Not In Mexico. Trying to parse out everything right now, and keep tripping into Concrete Blonde territory:

The little conversations
If I tried my very best
You know I never could say anything
In twenty words or less.

Or now, in the age of twitter, 140 characters or less. Same diff. So I'm writing it out here, not on Facebook.

I spent a little time going back to last year's blog posts, back when I was on sabbatical in Mexico, first with The Student (and a visit from The Teacher), and then with The Kid. The Plan^(TM) was to figure out what it'd be like to be in Mexico City for a year, and then to take the kid there this academic year.

And yeah - in the intervening year, the plan changed. Work granted me permission to telecommute - my job can be done anywhere I can get a dialtone and WiFi - but given the uncertain state of the economy and the realization that among my friends and family, I might even have a bit of an obligation to stay employed - oh, and having an underwater mortgage, too - it just seemed to be more practical, more pragmatic to stay in the US.

I turned 40 while in Mexico last summer. My mom died in October, followed shortly thereafter by one of her brothers. My dad's retired and needed to plot his next steps. Going to Mexico for a year didn't seem prudent, but staying in Portland didn't feel right, either. I needed time and space to discern where I'm to be, what I'm to do with this crazy life. And (deep sigh) the kid was starting to struggle at school, some from boredom, some from frustration at being the geeky one, the nerdy one, the one who was just looking at the world from an utterly different perspective. Something needed to change there, even if it was just getting him out of the environment for a year to breathe and allow tensions to die down and perspectives to mellow and mature. Even had we stayed in Portland, some change would've been needed, at least for awhile.

There's a thousand different opinions among friends and family about us spending a year (the current Plan^TM, at least) in California. They range from excited and enthusiastic to ... well, sorta hostile. There's probably merit lurking in each and every one of them, but the opinions are also owned by those who hold 'em, y'know? For my part, I'm giving myself 'til September 10 to unpack, get settled, get the kid settled in school, get back from a work conference in Georgia... and then I'm going to head back to the retreat center where I spent eight days in silence several years ago, sorting out what it meant to be going back into the Catholic Church. It'll just be a day trip for now, but I'm hoping to set up a regular practice of time there over this year. This upcoming year is to be one of discernment - under spiritual direction, with very focused time for prayer, writing, and just being and enjoying life.

There's so very little that I know right now, and so very much up in the air. I'm comfortable with where The Kid will be in school, and for his part, he's having a blast on this excellent adventure. We're talking about a goal of going to one cultural event per week, starting with the Chivas Guadalajara vs. Barcelona futbol (soccer) match this weekend up in SF. If The Student finds he has to go to Chile for a bit to check out some archives there, The Kid is sooooo down with making that trip - so I'm saving points and miles and such in hopes of pulling it off. Today he asked if we might be able to go to Mexico for a year sometime later. I couldn't answer - not without breaking down.

Current POR ("plan of record") is to return to Portland in 361 days - that's when the lease in our condo here expires. Truth be told, I have no idea what happens next. I'd give Portland about 33.3% of a shot, San Jose another 33.3% - and for the remaining third - Mexico? Oakland? Something Completely Different?

I do know that I enjoyed a happy little time of denial while The Student was preparing to leave for his research year. Seeing the photos he's posted from Mexico and talking with him - so bittersweet, because my longing to be in Mexico City right now is visceral. I had the opportunity in my hand, and ... fear? uncertainty? being too comfortable, too afraid of losing my job? - held me back. So now the task at hand is to be present here in San Jose and see what I'm to learn from this time here. It will be good - but first I have to be able to let go of What Is Not. Only then can I really experience What Is To Be.

Concrete Blonde's been on the mental ipod, but even more so, the Goo Goo Dolls "Two Days in February" - an achingly poignant song about missed love - except I'm singing it not to one individual, but to the biggest city in the world.

You said that this is crazy, you're a half a world away
Well I'm sitting and I'm thinking but I didn't know what to say
So I said something I can't touch, I always want way too much
Anyway

'Cause everything's wrong
Well it's all right
Everything's wrong
Well it's all right


And it is all right. I'm happy, loving the sun, excited about all of the new stuff we're learning and doing each day. It just wasn't what I'd planned. But it's all right.

We interrupt our previously-scheduled chaos...

... to bring you a deer. Really, a doe - a deer - a female deer grazing in the yard of the kid's paternal grandparents' house outside of Atlanta. Flew down here from PDX on the redeye last night, and didn't sleep at all between the kid dozing fitfully on one side of me and a poor soul who was at least 6'5" crammed into the seat on the other side. We landed, were picked up by the kid's grandparents, and then went to a local BBQ joint for grits and eggs and sausage - totally surreal. I thought about taking a photo, at the very least of the life-sized cutout of GWB stashed in a corner - but thought better of it.

And then we came home, and saw the deer as we pulled in to the driveway.

I managed a brief nap before getting up to call in to my meeting at 8am, Portland time. I've been working from here, calling in to meetings and keeping up with email. I've a few colleagues who are out this week on vacation, so I'm their coverage as well. Email's coming in, and I'm doing my best to keep calls and such limited to times that coincide with the schedule here, three hours ahead. I'm dealing with corporate lifecycle discussions; my "not-in-laws" are making cornmeal-encrusted okra and grilling shrimp.

Such a different pace of life, and one that's increasingly attractive. We drove by housing developments with prices starting "in the low 100s". Substitute the "1" for a "3" and you'd have Oregon. And maybe for a "high 400s" - and it'd be San Jose.

I keep thinking that someday I'll have time to sit down and figure out what I want to do with this one beautiful, blessed life I have - and I realize that the life's happening now, while I'm zooming from airport to cube farm. Pretty sobering thought, all in all. Especially when my thinker's pretty jet-lagged as it is. Maybe tomorrow I'll go out and talk with that doe for awhile. I think she's onto something.

Another blogger in the sphere...

Wasn't quite his idea of how to spend his summer vacation, but the Kid is now a blogger. I'm not going to post the details publicly; it's invitation-only, and I'll be watching it like a hawk. However - if you know me and know the kiddo, drop me a note if you want to get an invite to follow his adventures this summer and over the next year while we're in San Jose. It's moderated and tightly managed, but it's a good way for him to keep in touch with folks while we're away.

If any of y'all are thinking about letting your kids start to blog and want tips on how to be an uptight, retentive parent (what to lock down, how to moderate comments, etc.) - drop me a note. I'm all about responsible and careful use of technology, and just like other areas of life, this is one that the kids will learn about eventually, and really - you do prefer that they learn from you, rather than elsewhere.

What did I say about "too real"?

Timestamp on this is Friday, but really written on Sunday morning, June 28. I'm sure there's a way to update the timestamp, but today won't be the day that I figure that out.

I can give this up - the back yard with the grass and dandelions that are a constant menace. In the middle of this green space we've put in a planting bed with tomatoes, zucchini, and basil all humming along.

But damn, saying goodbye to people sucks. It's so hard, something I've never liked. Friday was the amazingly wonderful woman, she & her husband truly gifts from God, who tend the kiddo after school and during summer. If I have any regrets about the past 11 years, it's that I didn't know them 11 years ago - he'd have been with them from the outset, as were a few of his friends. Instead, it's been barely a year and a half, but it's been wonderful. He'll be back for one week later this summer after his visit to the East Coast and before we head down to San Jose, and thankfully it's a week when she's here and will have her place open for kids.

Today - the young priest who was a seminarian when the kid started at the school. Given the choice of attending his ordination in Indiana or going to Disneyland when I would be attending the annual religious ed conference, the kid picked the ordination. At nine, the kid was way more interested in church and such than he is at eleven, but it was still an experience he'll remember forever. He was an altar server today too, at the last regular Mass that this priest will preside over at the parish. Definitely hard to say goodbye there, too - we don't agree on everything, but the faith and values that unite us are sufficient to let us exist with the differences, and with love and respect for one another.

I've never liked goodbyes much, and these weeks are full of 'em.

I'm repeating the mantra - it's just for a year, it's just for a year. If we were going to Mexico, it'd be a lot easier to cling to that "just for a year" statement - we'd have to return home, for immigration reasons at the very least. This time, we'll come back, and as inevitably happens, life will have moved along its course in our absence. I'm grateful for tools such as the Internet, Facebook, etc., resources that let us keep in touch with one another, but more grateful still simply for the gifts of these people - the couple who care for kids, Father Stephen - whose lives we've been privileged enough to share. God willing, we'll stay in touch as we all move through this next year.

All a little too real...

I spent the latter part of last week in San Jose - or rather, San Jose, then Folsom Friday with a quick hop of a flight over Mt Hamilton (?) and then a day's instruction to a group of senior developers at the company's site there. Flew back on the return hop, caught up on a few things at the office, and then headed back to my friends' condo for dinner.

After dinner we went on a little walk - down a few flights of stairs, around the pool, up several more flights of stairs, and down to the very end of the hall. We stopped at the last door on the right, a door I'll be seeing a lot more of in just a few weeks.

Home.

Or at least what will pass for "home" for the next year. I've been thinking a lot recently about that concept - "home" - and what it's meant to me, and how my unsettled relationship with that concept informs this upcoming move.

I don't know how many times I've moved. I know the longest I've lived anywhere in my life was the house in NW PDX where we were prior to moving to this one. We lived there from June 2000 - March 2006, even though it was under serious construction much of the time and wasn't really fit for human habitation. It'll be beautiful when it's done, but it was never fully "liveable" - and as such, was never 'home' - just a place to try to sleep, and to try to keep this crazy-@ss juggling match going. Much easier where we are now

The first house I've owned - this one - just over three years. And now we're packing up to go to California. There's no way we'll stay in the place there longer than a year; even if things change and we're not back up here next summer, I can't see living there indefinitely. In fact, I can't even wrap my brain around the idea that in just over a week, we'll be set there for a year. Unreal.

The past several days have been spent with much packing and some scheming, interspersed with the usual doses of work and such. Still haven't figured out if we'll do the professional movers thing or just pile it all into a u-haul. I'm blessed with friends here who want to help with packing and even transport, and friends in SJ who're ready to receive it - and me+kid+cats. A couple of the latter will fly up to help take care of last minute stuff, and to ease me out of town.

It helps too to have a mental image of where the condo's located. Getting the keys will be the next step, one currently scheduled for early next week. (Yes, I'm taking Yet Another Trip south.) I'm still not at the point of being able to really say yes, I'm going to be a Californian - but I'll have an address. It's a start.

The adventure continues

The Corporate Masters don't use anything resembling a real calendar. The calendar, after all, was Not Invented Here(TM). Instead, we pass time with an arcane system of "workweeks". Yesterday, for example, was WW22.5 - Friday of workweek 22.

After almost ten years, I'm sufficiently indoctrinated to be largely incapable of thinking in terms of strange moon-based designations of time that have odd names of various deities and rulers. Sure, I could talk about my birthday in terms of how far into the month honoring Julius Caesar the specific day lands, but it's much easier to simply note that this year it'll land on WW28.4.

As the time for our move to San Jose draws nearer, more folks are asking for details of the move. Here's what I know so far. I'm asking for a cubicle in the South Bay cube farm beginning WW27.1. It's the first day of a new quarter, and although we're not doing this as an "official" move to avoid incurring too many costs, it's a good day to have that lined up. I'll also have what's known as a "PAN change" - I have no idea what that means, really, other than that to the Corporate Masters, I'll be a California-based employee, not an Oregon-based one. My manager and reporting structure and job all remain the same, but taxes will be withdrawn as of then and dumped into the black hole that is the State of California operating budget.

Within three minutes of that change, I plan to register to vote in California. I may not be part of the problem, I'm not sure I'll be down there long enough to be part of the solution, but I'll happily join the ranks of those yelling for something to be done.

The move itself - well, it'll happen in stages. I'm currently scheduled to fly down on WW25.1 to sign lease paperwork, but since that's the day between Father's Day and my dad's birthday, I'm contemplating pushing that out a bit, perhaps to 25.3. The wee hours of 27.1 will see the kid & I landing across the country, as I drop him off for a couple weeks with his grandparents. I will fly back to OR on 27.3. I need to line up and schedule movers, and depending on their timing and costs, I expect to have stuff packed up and out the door around my birthday - 28.4, for those keeping track at home.

The kid returns from the East Coast on 29.4, but I may still be in the Bay Area then. He'll probably hang out with his dad, godfather, and my dad 'til 30.3. A cousin's wedding in Yakima is at the end of WW30, so we'll go to that, and then head back to Portland to catch a flight home - which by then will be... San Jose.

And yes, it is home - or will be. Lease papers are prepped, deposit's in. A few friends will be helping with furniture selection, doing an IKEA run or three after I get the keys but before we arrive. It's also 3BR - partly so I have a place where I can work, and also to provide a place for friends and family to land. (Y'all are going to visit, right? RIGHT? Bueller?!?!?) I also picked it because it's in the complex where a couple of friends live, a mere 2/3 of a mile from another friend, and pretty much equidistant from work and the kid's school - and other wonderful friends who made the trek from Oregon to San Jose just two years ago. Familiarity's good - the kid's been to the complex and remembers the pool well. He's happy.

School begins WW34.4. WW36.1-5 I'm to be back on the East Coast for a conference. Sometime in the WW42ish range, I expect to head to Mexico for a week - miss it terribly, and it'll have been over a year by then. That, of course, is in the "Octomonth" - which, when one tries to use the standard calendar, would be Month 10.

So many things moving of their own accord now, and I'm aware of how few are really under my own control, no matter how easily I can plug them in to the "workweek calendar". I'm finding the precision comforting, even though I know it's illusory.

Home?

What do you think? Should I take it?

Oh wait - that's not San Jose, that's Barcelona. Much as I'd love love love to be moving there in a few weeks ... or Mexico City ... San Jose it will be. And that's a good thing, really. It's a lovely place, and rumor has it that there's a few little places that are attempting to find their inner quirkiness. Portland it's not - but it'll be an adventure nonetheless. Berkeley, Santa Cruz, and the City herself are all nearby.

Right now the question's housing. I've applied for one condo, conveniently located, in fact where The Student & his beloved live. The Plan(TM) (ha.) was to be further downtown, but this place does have the advantage of being roughly between school and my office, and also in a really diverse neighborhood. Right by VTA, right by a grocery store, right by a taqueria. The Student will be gone for his research year for his doctorate, but his spouse will be in town, and having him so close by is way cool for very many reasons. (The Kid, of course, sees an opportunity to prove his Wii dominance, and I daresay there'll be some of that going on.) There's also something to be said for staying in a place I know well already, and in fact where I stay when I'm traveling down there anyway. It's comfortable, quiet, and stable. (Which is more than can be said for California itself these days.)

But - if the leasing company says no, I'm really comfortable with that, too. No rush, and lots of options. Maybe even too many options...

It's all feeling rather real. Methinks it's time for the kiddo and me to go to Videorama and get some more Futurama episodes. Escapism sounds like the plan for tonight. And if I can't go to Barcelona right now, or Mexico, Futurama sounds like a lovely place to be.

It's never pretty

The photo a couple posts back of all of those neat U-Haul boxes, carefully stacked - ha. The people at the ad agency who produced that stuff have obviously never really moved themselves. Today's photo is of my living room, just about ten minutes ago. The home office is even worse. No photos of that - this is a family blog, after all. Oh, the humanity!

It's been a frenzied few days. I flew to the Bay Area to be present for The Student's PhD qualifying exams, which he took and passed on Tuesday. He flew back up here with me on Wednesday, and the past two days have been spent packing boxes, with visits to friends interspersed within. He flies back home today, leaving me with a work-in-progress. The move seems very, very real right now. Not much is packed yet - the medicine cabinet, DVDs, and many shelves worth of books. Still - of everything in this house, the things that matter are the kid, the cats, and my books. Having the last of those three largely ready for transit makes it impossible to deny that yup - we're heading outta here.

These next few weeks will be a blur. Work remains in high gear, the school year is winding down, and there's still the little matter of figuring out where the boxes will be unpacked upon our arrival in San Jose. There's a little more clarity around the date - thinking mid-July right now - but beyond that, more unknowns than not.

At least the books are packed.

And so shall it be

We're headed to the Bay Area. No, not to Lake Merritt where this photo was taken, but it's safe to say that we'll be up there pretty often, too. If the Corporate Masters weren't in the South Bay, I'd be in Oakland in a heartbeat, just to be able to walk around Lake Merritt every day.

I'll skip the full backstory, but suffice it to say that this wasn't the easiest decision. Truly, it's a decision between two really fabulous options - the chance to stay in a city that I love, moving to a condo or apartment to ratchet down all of the stuff I'm juggling was compelling. So too was the opportunity to spend at least a year living in a sunny city where we've many friends as well, including some other refugees from Puddletown. Dealing with the rain, paying the "sun tax" - no clear-cut answers either way.

This past month or so has been a time of pretty intense prayer, discernment, and checking in with folks ranging from my spiritual direction peer mentor to friends from the "wayback machine" - years ago - to come up with the answer. Most paths led to the same destination - it's all good. The kid loved his visit at the school in California, and he's having a more-or-less OK school year up here as well - or at least, as he put it, "It's way better than last year." I'll take that.

What it came down to was pretty simple. Another part of my life that's way out of balance is and has been work. Three managers in eight weeks, more work than we can fathom how to deal with, and increasing tension around different workstyles and dynamics threatening to blow the whole pop stand apart. A colleague said, "Look, we you have all that spiritual direction training; go see what you can do to help sort this out." Add to that the training that's part of my job, but which hasn't been offered nearly as broadly as it's needed - again, a casualty of the economy and travel restrictions. There's many opportunities to make some professional changes and have a better work/life balance while living close enough to commute by bike in the decent weather... all so compelling.

The kid saw a print ad for the Monterey Bay Aquarium early last week, and started making a list of things he wants to do during the year we'd be gone, just in case we were going to make the move. Dad's practically measuring for drapes, ready to head into the house as soon as we're packed up and out. (ETA of that is mid-July, but more on that later.)

Therefore we're making that big step forward in faith. I don't know what it'll be like, but I'm curious to find out. The kid was up for spending a year in Mexico and asked if that still might be an option someday - he's ready for this adventure, too. Working on details now so he keeps strong connections with his dad & dad's SO, godparents, grandpa, and friends - hey, maybe he'll have his own blog!

More as we know it, but we'll start with this for now. And now I'm off to mow the lawn - a task made more enjoyable now, because I know it'll be permanently off my list of things to do soon!

Whichever way...

I've promised myself that I'd begin updating & blogging just as soon as I figured out whether I'll be in Portland or head to San Jose for about a year starting this summer. Quite literally over the course of a day, the 'decision' changes. I wake up at 3am in a panic; how can I move, how can I uproot the child, how can I get everything done that I need to do to get from here to California. I'm now practiced at getting myself back to sleep. By about seven, coffee in hand, I can sit with the liminality and uncertainty, telling myself to take things a step at a time, and that the next steps are getting the kid to school and getting me to work.

By noonish, I'm convinced that I'm ready to go to San Jose. I've usually heard from one or more friends or family down there, many of whom don't know one another (yet), with everything from suggestions for apartments, a mention of a new cool place the kid will love, and offers to help organize - either up here or there.

Later in the afternoon I wobble - friends at the kid's school, the folks who keep the kidlet after class, the soccer folks - all part of what I know I'll miss if I'm away. And then the kid starts talking about wanting to get to the Aquarium on Fisherman's Wharf again, the Monterey Bay Aquarium, and the science center in Golden Gate Park that was closed the last time we were in the City.

In short - it's not easy. And work is really, really rough right now in many respects, which doesn't help. It's taking more emotional energy and plain old consciousness than it should, and that doesn't begin to touch the time investment. But right now, a paycheck's a paycheck, and I really do like the majority of the work itself and have some fabulous coworkers. It's not sustainable long-term, though, not like this.

So I'm tackling things bit by bit. Kid is with my dad right now, and I'm getting a particularly difficult bit of work done. Later I'll pack up some stuff for Goodwill, and pack up other stuff for an eventual move - somewhere. Tee Bee Dee. Mass at 5, then a bit more packing, perhaps. Just don't know quite where the boxes will be unpacked yet.

Be it resolved that...

I don't generally do New Year's resolutions. The turn of the year is simply a day, and its primary significance relates to my relationship with the IRS, really. Do I have enough deductions? Do I have my papers ready for the annual "pizza and Tax Cut Pro" evening with the kid's godfather?

This year, though, there are a few things I need to track, and just as I did several years ago on a different blog when I was seriously doing bike training, I'm probably going to use this space for public humiliation and approbation, as well as it being a convenient spot for me to find the notes I keep. So without further ado:

1) Health. I turned 40 in July, and it's felt like my body's falling apart ever since. I've gained ~10 pounds in the past 8 weeks - I'm at 165 pounds (!!!!!) and I'm up at least 15 since I was in Mexico City last summer. I'm thinking something else is going on there, though - I've not eaten that badly. I'll be visiting my doctor on the 8th, and expect a battery of tests, as well as the obligatory "Welcome to 40" mammogram prescription. SOOO not happy about that, but it's time.

2) Health - the bike. I have this awesome bike sitting in my living room staring at me. When I was riding >100 miles/week, I felt great, looked great, and was juggling everything well. Now I'm not riding, and the operative word is "blah". I did 30 minutes on the trainer a few days ago, and have a goal of doing it two of the next 3 days. (Snow/rocks in the roads - can't ride outside on the road bike right now, sadly.)

3) San Jose. This move could be reasonably smooth, or it could be a stressfest, a disaster, or could crash around my ears entirely, leaving me still in Portland and depressed at the failure. It's all a matter of planning. Now - I know planning. My job is all about planning, planning methodologies, and helping people plan multiyear, multi-billion dollar programs. If I can be disciplined enough to apply what I do at the office to what I need to do at home, even the complex stuff like selling the house and working out family logistics will be a piece of cake. If not... well ...

4) Debt. Oh wait - this "resolution" from years ago is a nonissue! Yeah - I really did it. Credit card debt is GONE. Years ago, my mom had told me that upon her death I'd be OK, but ... well, she lived. A LONG time. When she finally did pass in mid-October, my credit card debt was down to a couple thousand dollars. It'd have been paid off by December 31th anyway. I'm really happy that I did it under my own power, though. Still have the mortgage (which will go away when I sell the house), the car (haven't decided whether I should pay that one faster), and student loans (ugh - forever) - but just having the evil plastic done feels good.

Long. Boring. Sorry. If I don't start posting mileage, bike maintenance, and move planning info here, get on my ass, ok? For now, I'm off to shuffle some laundry and take down the Christmas tree. Maybe I'll even get my butt on the bike. We'll see.

And 2009 it is...

Oh, so many changes - writing about most of them at Facebook, but one of my resolutions (ha) for this year - especially for the next several months - is to keep this site better updated. For now - the superfast rundown:

1) I was not in Mexico for the Feast of Nuestra Madre (12/12) - and ached to be there.
2) The economy really sucks.
3) Yes, I'm still employed.
4) The economy - it's abysmal.
5) I have permission to work remotely all of next year should I choose.
6) The economy is terrible.

So - as a result, over the past several weeks I've made the decision that we're not going to be headed to Mexico next year. It's not a happy realization, not at all. However, as the primary income source for my family, and especially as the "safety net" for a handful of others right now, it feels ... foolish? selfish? imprudent? - to park myself out of sight of the corporate masters for such a long time.

And so we're going for "Plan B". Dates are still fuzzy, but at some point after school's out in the spring, the Kid and I will pile everything that's not previously been stored into a U-Haul and head to San Jose. My employer's headquarters are there, and I'm already there quite often for meetings or to conduct training courses. We have family there, although part of that family - the grad student - will still be in Mexico, doing PhD research. Getting to Mexico to visit will be simpler from there, though, so it's a workable compromise. Or so I'm trying to tell myself as a consolation, at least.

It's a big move. In many ways, going to Mexico for a year seemed simpler. San Jose may also just be for a year - or it could be longer. I won't say "permanent", because ironically, Mexico as a longer-term destination is looking more likely than ever. First, though, we have to get through the great recession - or worse. For me, my skills, my background - San Jose is as safe as it gets for that.

The photo above is from the Tech Museum of Innovation - one of the many cool places in San Jose. The Kid will be taking a couple of classes there this summer - similar to the ones he took at OMSI here in Portland. Good sciency stuff, good chance to hang with other geeky kids, and adjust to being there. I still have to sort out schools - I visited a parochial school a few weeks ago, and will check out a couple of other options when I'm back later in January.

Anyway - that's the news from rainy Portland for now. Still grumpy about the loss of the year in Mexico, but it's for the right reasons, and all will be well in the end.

A safe and happy 2009 to all of y'all. Pax.