The Flight Not Taken

OK, in truth - it was a flight not ticketed, either. Just one spotted yesterday while I was wandering around SNA (I can't call it "John Wayne"), waiting for my flight back to SJC. Pre-9/11, could I have approached the counter, passport and credit card in hand, and headed down to my beloved Distrito Federal? I don't remember ... and in any case, those days are now gone forevermore.

Many other days are "gone forevermore", namely the ones between last August when I last posted, and today. I made a commitment to a few people over the weekend to write more, and write more about the intersection of faith and politics and high tech and (maybe) grad school where I find myself, and how I'm discerning a direction there. "Discerning" sounds so mature, so premeditated, so spiritual - and on some days, it can be. On other days, it leaves me standing wistfully in front of an empty gate at a random airport, wishing I could just fly away to Mexico City, eat a taco or two, and breathe.

Perhaps I'll start that writing tomorrow.

Tonight. Tonight I sit in my home office in San Jose. It's my favorite room in the condo, perhaps because it's the smallest of the three bedrooms. In it are bookshelves, my bike, my desk, and the twin futon that is meant to be a guest bed, but it's just tossed on the floor right now. It's still the most comfortable place to sleep, though.

A cat is meowing in the other room. I was gone for a few days at the Archdiocese of LA Religious Education Congress, and the Kid stayed with our friends down the hall. The cats were visited daily, but otherwise left to their own devices, which seems to suit them quite well.

We've adjusted to San Jose, mostly. It's not Portland. It's certainly not Mexico City. The kid's school here isn't his school there - good, but different. I miss the community up there terribly. I miss the weather not at all.

So - we're here. "For the duration" would be a stretch. We're here for now, and part of what is included in "now" is my own process of discernment about whether to apply to begin a MA/PhD program in theology up in Berkeley - or whether to close that door and explore what happens next with my corporate employer. And if grad school is in the future, how and when do I do that, being responsible to the kidlet, our family, my colleagues...

Many questions, and much to think about. Running away on a flight to Mexico City was pretty compelling yesterday. (Among other things, it'd have spared me much of the health care reform politics. Of course I have opinions, but they're not soundbytes. Maybe I'll post 'em tomorrow.)

For those of you so inclined, please pray for us - for me as I discern where to go from here, and for the kidlet - or preteenlet - as he navigates the treacherous waters of middle school, and the uncertainty of those next steps himself.

More soon. Pax out.